I Am Wind (Will Solace)

You Are Not Alone

I sat by my sister's tree, staring at the poison that was slowing killing her. Guilt racked through me as I ran my fingers down the bark. In fact, my mind was so preoccupied I didn't even hear someone come up behind me until I nearly jumped out of my skin when they cleared their throat. 

Drawing my blade, I spun to see Will standing there in his armor and his bow in hand. "What are you doing here?" I asked with a bit of a bite in my voice. 

"I'm on guard duty." He replied taking a seat next to me. "The better question is what you are doing up here?" When I didn't reply, Will pat my hand. "Don't put the blame on yourself, we all screwed up. I screwed up...." 

Tearing my gaze from the tree, I looked to Will's guilt ridden face. "What do you mean?" I whispered. 

Will ran his hand through his hair, something he did when he was nervous. "I'm so sorry, Jamie." His voice was shaking. "I saw Luke with the poisoned knife. As soon as we were all awakened, I just had a nagging feeling that I needed to come up here, and when I arrived I saw Luke standing there about to stand the tree. I froze." He hung his head as if he didn't want me to see his shame. "He stabbed Thalia's tree, and that's when something snapped in me, and I shot an arrow at him. I was only able to shoot in him in the shoulder before he escaped. I'm so sorry, Jamie." 

I was silent. No words would form in my mouth. I wanted to tell Will that it wasn't his fault, that I wasn't mad, but I couldn't lie. If he had been able to stop Luke before he poisoned the tree, or even stalled him enough for me to get there, we wouldn't be in this mess. The camp would still be protected, and my sister's tree wouldn't be dying right beside me. 

However, my mind was brought back to when I was showed my future almost a year ago. One of those visions was the camp being attacked by monsters coming through the border, and campers were patrolling trying to stop those monsters. Of course, at the time I didn't think anything of it, I just thought it was one of those many futures. Never did I think what I was shown would come true. 

"No, it's not your fault." My voice got quieter. "If I had listened to all the signs telling me what Luke was going to do, than you would have never been put in that situation. I never thought those futures that Tiresias showed me would be true. But because I ignored them, I couldn't see what it was showing me." 

Will sat down beside me and put a comforting hand on mine. "What did you see?" He asked. 

Tears prickled in my eyes, but I forced them not to escape. "I saw a future where I turn into a heartless person." And so I told him about all the visions Tiresias showed me. By the end the traitorous tears spilled down my cheeks and my voice was quivering. "I didn't want to become like the girl in my vision, in fact I didn't want to think about those visions at all. I guess that was my mistake." 

Will was silent, as if he was trying to process what I had told him. Granted it was a lot to process, he just heard about how his friend could become a heartless monster who sent her friends to die. I hated me after seeing those visions, so why wouldn't he. But he didn't let go of my hand. "You know, that doesn't have to be your future. There are many futures." He said. 

"That's what your father said when he was healing us, but if I had focused on those visions none of this would have happened!" I stood up and touched the oozing wound on the side of the tree. "And now the closest thing I have to a sibling is dying, and everyone here is in danger!" Sobs escaped my lips as I rested my forehead against the tree. "I don't deserve to be here." 

Will pulled me away from the tree, and spun me so that I was looking in his eyes. "You are not to blame." His voice was strong. "You have done so much to help this camp from taking the lead when things went wrong, to being a friend to everyone here. There is no way we would have rallied together if you weren't here to lead us. It's us who don't deserve you."