Dear Thomas,

Belso

I hate people with the burning passion of a thousand suns. Which is probably why, when a LARGE group of people surrounding a guy came up to me, asking for help, I told them to fuck off.

"Sir, PLEASE, he's DYING" the one carrying him pleaded. He wasn't- he.

What WAS wrong with him?

I stopped walking away from them, and turned around, now curious as to what was going on with this man. He wasn't pregnant, unlike his other, male friend?

"What the hell are you people doing? He's pregnant" I said, pointing to the man with the bloated stomach. Embarrassed, he wrapped his arms over his belly in a protective manner.

"We're quite aware of John's situation, but what is wrong with Alexander?" The man pleaded, obviously terrified for his lovers life. How I knew they were in love, you ask?

Probably because the sick one- Alexander- was trying to get into the other's pants. I laughed a bit, and stood over the small man.

I examined him for every illness I could think of, even ones that hadn't been introduced into their time period yet. Good news- he didn't have Ebola.

"When did he start feeling like this?" I asked, picking him up from the other mans lap, and laying him down on a conveniently fallen tree.

"Right after we rescued him from being kidnapped" The pregnant boy answered. Apparently, not everyone knew about this, and he got a smack from the pregnant girl, and everyone else gasped.

"Was this person a magic doer, by any chance?" I asked, tacking my brain, trying tot think of anyone that could have placed a spell on the man.

"Uh I don't THINK so, or he would have fought back MUCH harder than he did" the man originally carrying the other said.

"Was it, per chance, John Adams?" I asked, receiving yet another gasp from the crowd.

"How did you know?" One of the people asked. He spoke in a British accent (which was weird, I thought they murdered all those coots years ago. Maybe I should stay up to date on politics).

"John Adams was once my apprentice. He could NOT do hand to hand magic combat, because I didn't teach him how. I could see just how horrible and corrupted he was. Once he killed my familiar, 'on accident' he claimed, I ditched him" I said, recalling distant memories I had kept buried for a reason.

I sighed, and looked down at the man, who was now asleep.

"He's been cursed. Simple fix, really. He needs a LOT of sleep, and a potion" I told them, as they all listened intently, trying to make sure their friend didn't die.

"First, get three newts eyes, mixed with witch bane and hazel wood" I started, and saw each persons faces drop. They simultaneously looked down at their sleeping friend.

I started laughing. It was the funniest shit- seeing their faces drop from all hope to no hope. "YALL FELL FOR THAT SO HARD- OOF!" I laughed, and they looked either confused, or offended.

I took a DEEP breath, and regained my composure.

"Ok. All you need to do is have him drink a shit ton of honey. I know it sounds weird af," they looked confused at my use of 'af'. "But it's literally the only way to save your friend. SO get some, and make him drink up" I said, now pushing the lot out of my forest.

They started to protest, but I quickly shut them up. With a spell. God I love magic.

"Good luck!" I shouted, as they all shuffled out of the woods, and out of my sight.