Monster: You're my lucky one (OT12) (ENGLISH VERSION)

Chapter 24: Oblivion

Oblivion

–Are you going to keep avoiding this?– Jongin's hand was against the wall, and make Kyungsoo's escape really difficult.

–I'm not avoiding anything, you just don't chose a good moment– he answers trying to appear convinced of his own words.

–And when is a "good" moment for you? We're talking about something really important! In the meeting it was really clear what are we going to do from now on, I don't think I can make my part if I'm not sure about what you feel.

–I think my feelings should be in the background when we have to save twelve lives trapped in this place.

–Kyungsoo... this is very important for me. If you really want me to have the strength to help and save others... you should give me that strength. I... I really need to know how do you feel about me.

The older felt how his body was trembling. Why right now? He had a lot of things to be worried about. Why he wanted to talk about feelings and love in this moment? He had plenty of time when they were trapped to make everything clear, but Jongin wanted to talk about it in this moment.

–Do I have to tell you?– Kyungsoo whispers embarrassed– I thought it was totally obvious.

–I need you to say it... why is so hard for you to say you love me?

–You want me to be honest? Everything is hard for me now– the red haired states and he tries to escape again, but Jongin doesn't let him.

–From now on the long waits are going to be even harder now. Since that meeting I'm so uneasy that I can't sleep. I think this is driving me crazy, because I still don't know what is going to happen to us. And when I'm in that state, I want to talk to you all night, but... when I come here to see you, you're already sleeping... and you seem so calmed that I don't want to wake you up. I'm not a man that waits for a long time now, you know? Sometimes I think I should give up, because you don't care what we do, even if we try hundreds of times, it's not going to work, because they are here, listening all what we are saying and our plans will never succeed.– Jongin sighs and caress Kyungsoo's face with his fingers. –The only thing that makes me consolation is you.

–Why are you saying those things in a moment like this?– the boy wants to know, worried about Jongin's sudden sweet words.

–I... still feel like when we were together... I never stopped. I still flinch with your heart shaped smile, with your little gestures, your big eyes... Right now everybody is thinking about being free... but then I remember your words... that if we go back to our normal lives they are going to take us apart. And I'm afraid.. because its getting harder remembering you in that way.

–What are you talking about? Are you loosing your memory again?

–Actually, it's not like that. Look at me, Kyungsoo. How much about my other me do you really remember? I can still see it... but its hard to remember how you used to talk... you smile... the idea that I have about you in my mind... but I can neither remember myself. And I think I can understand know the warning.

–Jongin... I don't understand– Kyungsoo admits, begging with his eyes an explanation.

–Do you remember Baek saying that if we admitted a relationship with anyone we will start to forget? Well, I think they didn't mean forgetting our current partner, but our real "me" of our real lives.. I think that when we admit that we love a person in this worlds we'll be accepting that we'll live here without caring about our former personality, our former loves, or real lives.

Kyungsoo thought about it for a moment and organized his ideas. Jongin was so right. And, if the words he was listening were true, that they were listening their words, the meeting they had was meaningless. Until an idea appeared in his mind.