Monster: You're my lucky one (OT12) (ENGLISH VERSION)

17. We are and we're not

17. We are and we're not

Kyungsoo pretended to sleep to himself. He had his eyes closed who knows how many time, trying to fall sleep, but failing. He thought that resting was good, even if he didn't fall sleep anyways. In his biological clock, it was night, so in his mind he had insomnia. That was Jongin's fault.

Why? Why did it hurt so much? Why he was not a normal person trying to move on? He wondered what did Jongin think bout it. Could he sleep?

His question was answered immediately. Kyungsoo turned around on his bed, trying to feel comfortable and he noticed something in one look: a shadow. He sit up and he was not scared, because he recognized the owner of that body.

Jongin was kneeling on the floor, close to the door with a down gaze, as if he was suffering. He looked so defeated, and that always hurt the red haired. He felt guilty even if he was also hurt.

Kyungsoo was a little surprised when their looks met, Jongin had no light in his eyes, his arms were hanging and his shoulders were down, his hair was even messier. He looked miserable.

Kyungsoo made a small, almost imperceptible sign with his fingers, to make the other get closer, and he obeyed immediately. Each step that Jongin took made Kyungsoo's heart pound within his chest, getting stronger. The blond guy was finally sit in front of the owner of the room, and they couldn't say a thing.

The smaller was the one who made Jongin look at him. Kyungsoo's sigh was the necessary impulse to make the other kiss him. He softly push him until he was on the mattress. Kyungsoo was surprised of Jongin's ability to throw off all his clothes in just seconds. They didn't say a thing, they only try to put all the effort in stay as silence as possible, gasping, trying not to moan loudly, trying not to say even their names.

Jongin, after preparing him, lifted Kyungsoo legs up and putted them on his shoulders, while their hips hit rhythmically. The older was bitting his own hand strongly, while the other grabbed the sheets. The blond man buried his face between Kyungsoo's neck and chest, while all his weight was supported by his arms, it hurt, but it doesn't matter, he only wanted Kyungsoo never be able to distinguish his sweating drops from his painful tears, but the other was crying too, and that really hurt.

Jongin didn't stay. As soon as they were apart, he stood up and put some clothes on. He whispered a small "Forgive me" before leaving, but he was not sure if the other was able to listen.

* *

The couple's routine has changed completely. During the day, they merely talk to each other, the rest of the guys were convinced that they were angry and they relationship was over, that they broke up, at least for the moment. That made Baekhyun feel a little bit relief, and he stopped asking questions.

But, during the "night", when everybody was sleeping, Jongin got into Kyungsoo's room and they spend the time together, even if they didn't talk. Sometimes, they only look into the other's eyes, laying on the same bed, swallowing all the words they would like to say when the rest of the people thought they were not together anymore.

–Kai? Are you ok?– Luhan sits next to the other blond man. Everybody knows about the bad mood he had since he stopped talking to Kyungsoo.

–He's not going to answer– Chanyeol says– talk about anything, but not about his mood, you're not going to get nothing, not even a word.

–Just talk to Kyungsoo– Sehun interferes– Things always get better if you talk.

–Not this type of things– Kai smiles and stands up, he's thankful because his friends are worried about him, but they can't do anything either. He just says bye and thinks that it's a good idea to go back to his room.