Iris Veil

Strong But Alone

I slam through the front door, I have no time to check if my mom was home or not. I just go into my room, lock the door and scream. I fall to my knees and scream. I let it all out by crying and screaming it out but it wasn't enough, the pain is still there.

It's hurting worse and worse. I want it out, I need it out!

"I need it!"

I run over to my dresser door and throw out all my clothes.

Where is it! Where is it!

It's still here...

My razor.

I grasp it tight in my fist, feeling the razor sharp edge dig into my palm.

"I'm sorry." I slowly place the razors edge on my wrist ready to end it, ready to let it out.

One.

The pain hurts worse.

Two.

The pain in my check feels lighter.

Three...

No, No! that's it.

I stop. I throw the razor across my room. I don't need this, I'm not this weak, I am strong.

I quickly reach for one of my socks that I threw from my dresser door and wrap it around from my two cuts. Not much blood came out these cuts they're, well their the end.

I don't need this I managed to stay clean for months now.

Bryce...

"I was clean for him but now I don't have him." I quick flash of him and Holly's lips appear in my head.

"Ugh! I'm done with this."

No more being attached, I'm done with thinking I need him. He just made me believe than shattered it.

I hear someone knocking at the door.

"Iris?"

It's Bryce. I can't let him in, I don't want to!

I slowly walk out my door and walk into the living room still pressing the sock against my wrist.

"Iris? I know you're in there. Please let me in I can explain."

I press my forehead against the door and cry again.

"Go away!" I shout.

"Please Iris it's not what it looked like he just..."

"Shut up Bryce! I don't wanna hear it you just build me up just to break me down again! Just leave me alone I'm done!"

I shut my eyes tight but tears still managed to escape.

"Iris..."

"No, please just go away Bryce."

I don't want to let him go, but I can't trust him ever again. I don't wanna get hurt anymore.

For a while we both stayed silent. I can feel him press his forehead against the other side of the door.

I love him but how can I trust him after that.

"Iris please, I love you. Just let me talk to you."

"Bryce please," I want him to come in but I can't, I just can't. "Just go away."

I hear his footsteps walking away, he's leaving me.

As I lay in bed trying to forget about Bryce and Holly's kiss but I can't.

My phone rings, I check and I got five missed calls from Bryce and two missed texts from Erika. I really don't want to talk to anyone I dot want anyone in my life.

I delete Bryce's missed calls and Erika's texts. I don't want anyone, they'll all just back stab me and I can't handle being shattered again.

Maybe I was just meant to be alone.

"Iris!" Erika's voice is loud. I was sleeping and I could hear her call my name from outside.

I get out of bed feeling weak. I walk to the living room to open the door for Erika. I haven't gotten left my room the whole Saturday.

"Hey."

"Iris!" Woah that woke me up. "where have you been I've been calling you and Bryce doesn't reply either. What's going on?"

"Come inside I'll tell you the whole story." As we took a seat on the couch I took in a deep breath told Erika everything that happen.

"He kissed her! Oh my, I just, ugh! I thought he was different."

"So did I." I reply

"Did he try explaining anything to you about it."

He has but I just can't. I'm to much of a forgiving person, and because I love him I knew I would believe whatever he had to say.

That's why I won't hear him out. I just can't go back to him, I know what I saw.

"Iris, don't worry I'll be here for you." Erika says as she puts her hand on my shoulder.

"Thank you Erika really, but I rather just be alone for a while."

"But I don't think you should be alone."

"Why do you say that?" I raise an eyebrow.

"Well..." She looks at my wrist and I quickly cover them.

"It's not what it looks like, I-I..."

"Iris! It's alright, I'm not going to judge you because of it."

She really is my best friend.

"Thank you."

She smiles and hugs me before asking me if wanted to watch a movie on Netflix. I said sure and that pretty much how my day went. I just wish I could get Bryce and Holly out of my head.