seanathan leward imagines:)

imagine 14; that moment when..

Your POV:

I only met Sean about 7 months ago and here's what I've learned.

He's sweet, funny, cute, handsome, sexy, defensive, kind, sarcastic, talented, intelligent, clever, flirty, shy, humble, and i...and I'm.. i think I'm falling in love with him.

I can't tell him though.

Why? He said he's falling in love with Kaycee. Which i can tell. And it's okay because he's still in my life.

I'll always be there for him.

I jumped as the doorbell rang. I was in the living room watching riverdale.

Today is Monday so i figured I'd just chill. I wasn't looking that good. Sweatpants, and tank top, a messy bun, and reading glasses isn't what i call looking good. But it's comfortable.

As i opened the door Sean's face appeared behind it. "Hey y/n can i come in?" He asked with sincerity.

I of course opened the door and let him come in. It was weird because he always just walks in when he wants. Now i knew something was wrong.

He sat down on the couch with his head in his hands and i sat next to him and put my hand on his shoulder. "Sean what's going on?" He shrugged like he didn't know.

But i knew better.

He always knows.

I grabbed his hand and made him look at me. He said that calms him down when he's upset.

And it did for a little while. "Sean what's wrong? Talk to me." I looked at him and it took him lots of thinking to put together what he was about to say.

"Josh told me something today. He messes around a lot but he's a loyal friend and he keeps secrets but when he shares them...it's only because it's important enough to tell. I trust josh. But i need to know if what he told me was true."

I thought he'd let it go by now. I thought josh wouldn't have said anything. But i wasn't mad. I'm never mad at anyone. I've been so mad to the point where everything made me mad and that was a pretty not fun time for me.

"What did he tell you?" I looked down as i let go of his hand but he grabbed onto it again tightly.

"I don't need you to look at me. Just hold my hand and tell me. Please i don't want to waste my time." I didn't say anything at the time because i was so afraid of what would've happened.

I sighed. "What is there to tell Sean?" I was hoping that was rhetorical question. But it never was.

He lifted my face and kissed my cheek gently. "Please tell me." He pleaded out.

I still couldn't so i tried to make him stop. "Sean please let it go there's nothing to talk about." I couldn't let it ruin us. I raised my voice a little.

"y/n do you love me?" He asked leaning against my shoulder. I couldn't help from tears slightly falling down my cheek. I knew i would lose him now.

"yes. I love you. If your gonna leave then leave. If your gonna ask questions then ask questions. But please don't forget that I'm always here. If it's not the same i get it. It'll never be the same now. Because nothing can ever happen." I tucked into my couch and curled my knees to my chest.

He sighed slightly and lifted my face again to meet his. "You're right it'll never be the same. I love Kaycee. I am always gonna love Kaycee." I looked down again.

"But before i make any rash decisions...i want to experiment." I looked at him confused. He squinted his eyes as if he's trying to figure something out too.