Unbroken (#3 in the 'Outcast' series)

Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

Brian jerked awake and looked up as Jake and I appeared at the door. He got up from where he was sitting and came over.

"Hey," he said, keeping his voice down. "Didn't know you were comin' by today."

I shrugged and glanced at Jake before looking back to Brian.

"We were here seeing Ronnie, so I thought I should stop by and see how Matt's doing," I said.

By the look on Brian's face, I could tell it wasn't good. He shook his head.

"He's no better than he was yesterday," he said, the tiredness showing in his voice. "He's out at the moment, so that's a plus I guess..."

I nodded. "Well should I come back? I mean, I don't wanna disturb him or anything..."

Brian shrugged. "Up to you I guess. Dunno how long he'll be out."

I nodded again and looked to Jake then back to Brian.

"I'll come by later."

***

Matt looked over at me as I jerked awake. I'd been drifting off, but was more awake and alert now. Matt must've just woken up, but he still looked exhausted. Brian had stepped out for a bit, so that just left me here, as Jake had stayed back with the others while I came back to see how Matt was doing.

"Where's Brian?" Matt asked weakly, clearly trying to ignore the pain like always.

"He just went out for a bit to get something to eat; said he needed to since he apparently hasn't eaten in over twenty-four hours," I said back, shifting my position. I looked at him. "He should be back soon. How're you doing?"

Matt gave an unamused laugh, and I saw the pain as he did so. He looked at me sadly before he answered.

"Honestly, I've really been wishing I'd died," he said tiredly. "It's gotta be better than this pain I'm constantly in and I'm just sick of it..."

"You don't wish for that," I said quietly, Matt glancing at me. "I know you don't."

"How would you know?" Matt asked sadly.

He looked to me and I saw the look in his eyes, and it said that he was serious. He looked away and just closed his eyes as he tried to block out the pain.

"'Cause I've been down that path," I said quietly as I looked down. "I know how you feel."

Matt opened his eyes and looked over at me again and I looked up, meeting his gaze.

"I know what it's like; wishing you weren't here," I said sadly. "I know how it feels to wonder if anyone'd miss you if you went through with it; if anyone would care. How it would affect people; I've thought of it all."

Matt just looked away, clearly still miserable. I looked down again.

"I know what it's like and it's not a nice place to be," I continued. "I know what happens and what goes through your head when you're down that path, but you should let someone help you. That was my mistake."

Matt looked like he wanted to say something, but he stopped, clearly in pain again. I waited and he eventually managed to speak.

"What happened with you?" he asked, sounding like it was difficult for him to speak. "Why'd you go down that path?"

I looked at him sadly.

"Because I felt like no-one cared and that my life wasn't ever gonna get any better 'cause of all the shit that I'd gone through and was still going through; it never stopped and I wished it would," I said truthfully.