59 | The Laughing Dead

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<Karma>
By the end of the meeting, Karasuma and I agreed to a manhunt for the arrest of Shiota, Hiromi. The whole kingdom was also notified to cooperate. In the meantime, I sent Mamoru's and Nagisa's father a letter to explain why such announcements were made upon the commotion of such findings.

"Kaede." I called her and she poked her head up, "take Terasaka and his men, patrol the borders." I ordered and she bowed her head.

"I will go to him immediately." She soon left waving goodbye to the three of us.

"I think it would be best to alert the gaijins as well. We need as much help as we can get. Worst case scenario, she could be hiding in gaijin territory." Karasuma spoke.

"Yeah, I think that's a good idea. We need to find her as quickly as possible." I nodded my head.

Queen Yua stood up and sighed.

"I don't know what to think of this." She spoke with uneasiness in her voice. It was like part of Nagisa was still present. However, Yua has lived with Nagisa since he was born, so of course learning about this kind of news is shocking for her.

"Well, I don't think it would be in your best interest to stay at the palace. Would you like to accompany us on the manhunt?" I asked Yua.

She first looked at Karasuma with some type of worry that I couldn't explain. When she glanced over at me, she seemed angry but also nervous. Her face was flushed with embarrassment, while holding onto some kind of pride.

"What is it my Queen?" Karasuma questioned.

"I will go along." She stood up, "but I'd rather go with Karasuma." She glared over at me.

I shrouded my face in confusion and crossed my arms.

"Heh? Why such a cold shoulder?-"

"Cold shoulder you say? Huh. You are a brainless boy." She crossed her arms and diverted her gaze, "I have every right to act this way when you defiled my body, trying to strip me and then touch me on your own accord. Have you no shame?" She spoke like she was a weak victim in the situation.

Before I could react, Karasuma was already ahead of me. He placed his hand on my shoulder with growing displeasure and agression. He started to emit this blackening smoke which chilled the hairs on my body.

"My King care to explain?" He tried to keep a simple smile, but it was bound to crack in distemper.

"N-no, you don't understand-." I waved my hands trying to explain myself but, there was no use.

Yua's words were final. Whatever she saids, no one can question it, especially something like this. Especially when I've done things to Nagisa before and Karasuma knew about it.

"My King, I think it's best that we have a review about self restraint and proper manners. It seems like you've forgotten quite a lot."

I think aside from losing Nagisa, Karasuma is the second thing that scares me enough to bend. There was no way to escape Karasuma at this point.
•••••••••
<Nagisa>
Because of the fact that I really can't do anything in this room, I've been laying on the bed to pass time. Sometimes I would fall asleep but, it's not like the sun ever goes down. It's always bright outside and the wind tickles the branches on the magnolia tree.

Just a few moments ago, I broke the wooden knob of the door. However, unlike last time, the knob magically reappeared as if it wasn't broken in the first place. No matter what I do in this room as I've tried to escape, it manipulates itself against me.

On a side note, I've also figured out that I haven't had an appetite these past few days. I don't think I'm losing weight if I'm not eating anything, as it feels like I'm not hungry at all. Sometimes I would forget about meals because I've lost track of time in this place. The clock near the photos on the wall isn't even ticking away, just frozen with no future.

I must be dead. There's no other way to explain it. There is no progress for me here, nothing is changing, and I'm forever locked in this room.

While my mind was foraging for some kind of explanation, both my hands felt uncomfortable. I sat up and stared at them, only to notice that my wrists were throbbing a bit. The coloration soon faded in with a reddish bruise.

I don't know what this means at all.
I started to think of the unthinkable and the impossible The things that kept throwing me against a dead end. Why is it that I'm always left alone and abandoned in such a pitiful state, in which I can't call for help. Because if I did, I'm weak. And if I didn't, there wouldn't be someone to come to my rescue anyways.

My chest painstakingly ached with fear that engulfed my mind. I can never get used this this feeling can I? Despite all the things I've already experienced, suffering will always feeling a little different each time.
Where is everyone? Anyone?
Karma, where are you? When are you going to come to my side? Have I fallen selfish and greedy that this is my punishment?
I have forgotten your touch, your hands that held mine never letting go. Your smiles that are different in front of me, compared to the ones you show to the rest of the world. The way you would speak to me to me. Sometimes it's harsh with teasing many of times, but gentle.

I tried my best since the day I took my first step. I tried to be a good son, and I am trying to become a great leader of this kingdom. Is it all for not?
I'm trying not to lose hope, persevere without falling down. I don't want to give up. I can't afford to.

However nothing is in my favor.
I cannot become someone as charismatic and strong as Karma. Someone like him, it's like staring at perfection. He's confident, justifies his values, and captures the heart of the people. I admire him so much that I wish to become someone like that one day.
But I can never be like him.

I chuckled under my breath. Maybe it's best this way. It's like what people say, everything happens for a reason. There are times when you know why and then are times you don't know why things happen to you.

The more I wait, the more I become restless.
Karma, please hurry.

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