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twenty-nine

"Arabella, please, call me back," Luke said from the other side as I tried to grab my phone from Ashton's hand. "I know you're mad because I'm leaving but I want to spend the time left with you, call me back, baby."

"Call him back." Ashton said, tossing my phone to me.

"No," I said, moving my hands through my hair. "I'm not."

"Why not?" 

"Because, it already hurts now," I shrugged. "No point in pretending like he's not going to leave me and find some other girl in Sydney. No point in acting like things are going to be the same when he's 7,000 miles away."

"Move with him then," Ashton said, draping an arm over my shoulders. "You know you'll be happier there."

"Ashton, I can't leave," I shook my head. "I just-I can't, okay?"

"But why not?"

"I can't leave my family, Ash, I can't drop out of school, I can't just move away, that's insane."

"Fine, Aria, I just don't think you should give up what you and Luke have."

"He seems just fine giving it up."

"No, he wants you to go with him."

"And I want him to stay with me."

Ashton shook his head, getting up. "I've got to meet Michael, you two need to work it out before he leaves."

After Ashton left, I took a shower and cleaned up my apartment, anything to keep my mind off Luke. I don't even know why I tried, he did nothing but occupy my mind 24/7.

When there was a knock on my door, I expected to see Ashton or Crystal standing on the other side, so when I made the mistake to open it, Luke stood on the other side.

His eyes were puffy and red, his blue eyes looking bluer than ever. I instantly moved to shut the door but he stopped me, sticking his converse between the door and the wood.

"Luke, move." I said, not looking up at him. 

He easily pushed his way inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Luke, leave," I said, pointing at the door, regretfully meeting his eyes. "Now."

"No, I'm not leaving until you talk to me," he said. "I can't leave knowing you're mad at me."

"Then don't leave!" I said to him. "Please don't leave me, Luke."

"I have to, Bell, I'm sorry, it's the right thing to do."

"Fine."

"Please don't be mad at me."

"You're leaving me again, Luke, you promised me that you wouldn't."

He went to wrap his arms around me but I shoved him away, tears falling down my cheeks. "You promised!"

"Yeah, and you promised me the same thing but you did," he said, his voice cracking. "You completely forgot who I was."

"You're saying it like it was my choice!"

He sighed as he fell onto the couch, running his hands through his hair. "Fuck, I'm sorry, Bell, I didn't mean it like that."

"I'm sorry that I'm not the Arabella you fell in love with, Luke, I'm sorry that I'm not perfect and that I won't move to Australia with you, Luke, I'm sorry."

"Baby, no, don't apologize," he said, standing and moving his hands to my face. "It's not you, Bell, it's not you at all. You're perfect, I'm the fuck up."

"No, you're not," I sobbed, wrapping my arms around his torso. "I'm so sorry, Luke."

We stood there for got knows how long, our arms wrapped around each other. He was stroking my hair and crying, I was sobbing into his chest.

"What job is there?" I asked him, pulling back to look at him.

"My dad runs a recording studio, I know the works and I know how to play the guitar, so he got me a spot to help him and some artists."

"So you're going to play guitar for famous people?"

He chuckled, meeting my eyes. "Maybe."

"I didn't even know you could play guitar."

"Yeah," he said, pushing my hair from my face. "I tried to teach you once but you would just get frustrated and strum random strings and make up some ridiculous song."

I laughed, keeping my arms wrapping around him. "Sounds like me."

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" He asked.

I nodded. "My home's here. Are you sure you don't want to stay with me?"

He nodded. "My home's there."

"What a couple we are," I frowned. "When are you leaving?"

"Tomorrow."

I frowned. "Tomorrow?"

"I'm so sorry, Bell." He whispered to me.

I let the tears slip down my face, I let him wipe them away and kiss me softly. "I don't want you to go."

He chuckled, hugging me tightly. "I don't want to go, either."

"Why'd you have to see me again?" I asked, resting my forehead against his chest. "Why'd you have to make me believe that we could do this?"

"I just wanted to love you-"

"I don't think that's love, Luke," I said, pulling away from him. "Love isn't supposed to hurt like this."

"Bell, I-"

"Maybe you should go."

"Arabella, please don't-"

"I love you so much, Luke, more than anything in this world, but I can't pretend that you're not hurting me," I said, kissing his lips softly. "I'm sorry."

"You think this doesn't hurt me?" He asked me.

"It's just-you push me away and come back just to let me go again," I said to him. "You're using me, Luke."

"Baby-"

"Leave Luke."

"Bell-"

"Leave!"

He sighed heavily before moving over to the door, turning around to look at me. "I love you."

"Yeah," I said, closing the door behind him. "Love you too."