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forty-one

"That doesn't make you some kind of dirty slut, Arabella-"

"Yes, it does," I sobbed to Crystal. "I was thinking about someone else while having sex with someone."

"That doesn't make you a slut, Bella, I'm serious," she said, setting a hand on my shoulder. "You were not only drunk, you were caught in the moment. You don't have to tell him, you didn't do anything wrong-"

"Harry is so perfect to me, Chris, he's understanding, he's sweet, he's so perfect and I'm not," I sobbed loudly. "Why couldn't I just stay away from Luke like my parents said? Maybe I could actually be normal and have a normal fucking boyfriend."

"Look, Bella-"

"And when he barged onto skype when I was talking to Cal, it was so fucking awkward," I groaned, wiping the tears from my face. "He saw Harry and I together-"

"Listen, Bella," Crystal said, gripping my hand tightly. "You and Luke are broken up, you can see whoever you want, really, you need to forget about him."

"How am I supposed to forget someone who gave me so much to remember?"

"Just try, alright?"

6 weeks later

"This movie isn't very interesting." Harry murmured from beside me.

"That's because you have a hand up my skirt." I chuckled, pulling his hand from my thigh and intertwining our fingers together.

"Sorry, darling, when you have a beautiful girl like you beside me, can't help myself."

I laughed, causing the guy in front of us to turn around and hush us up. 

"Why don't we get out of here?"

I grinned, intertwining our fingers together as we exited the theater and into the car. I pressed my lips against his as he started the car, heading for home.

Over the past few weeks, Harry and I had grown so much closer than I ever thought would happen. I could talk to him about stuff I couldn't talk to Ashton about. I could kiss him and not think about Luke. I could have sex with him without thinking about Luke's hands on me.

As much as I didn't want to admit it, I was starting to fall for Harry.

Harry's lips were moving against mine as I threw open the door to my apartment, both of falling inside. 

"Wait, wait, stop!" Someone screamed, making Harry and I pull apart.

"Oh god, I'm going to have to bleach my eyes now-"

"Ashton," I groaned, pulling my shirt down. "What are you doing here?"

"Michael's throwing a party."

"...okay?" I raised my eyebrows. "You're telling me this because?"

"Because it's for Luke and Calum," Ashton said. "I want you to come."

"Oh," I said, looking at Harry. "I don't think I'm going to go."

"Oh, come on, please," Ashton groaned. "He's just going to be whining about wanting to see you, plus, Calum misses you so much, Aria."

"I don't know, Ash, I don't really wanna see Luke-"

"I'll go with you," Harry interjected. "You know you want to see Calum, wouldn't mind meeting the rest of your mates."

I smiled at him, throwing my arms around his neck. "Yeah, you'd do that for me?"

"There's a lot of things I'd do for you, darling." He smiled gently at me.

"Alright," Ashton rolled his eyes. "You coming or what?"

I met Harry's green eyes, raising my eyebrows. "It's going to be the most awkward situation you've ever been in, H, I'm serious-"

He leaned down and kissed my lips gently. "I'll be fine, Arabella."

"Alright."

Ashton knocked on Michael's door, a six pack of beer in his hand. The door opened and Michael stood on the other side, a grin on his face.

"Bella, nice to see you!" Michael grinned, hugging me tightly.

"Let me to the alcohol, please." Ashton grunted, pushing past his friend.

"Michael, this is Harry, my uh-my boyfriend."

Harry and Michael shook hands, starting to talk about some soccer-or football-game as we walked inside.

I headed straight for the drinks, Harry on my heels. I refused to look around in fear of meeting those damn blue eyes, so I kept my eyes straight ahead on the alcohol table.

Harry set a hand on my hip, pulling me into my side as I made us both a drink. He leaned down and kissed my lips gently, taking a sip of his drink.

"Arabella Toth, look at you!"

I turned around, meeting Calum's soft brown eyes. I let out a mix between a squeal and a laugh, throwing my arms around the caramel skinned boy. 

"Calum!" I squealed, hugging the boy tightly to me. "Oh, I've missed you so much."

He hugged me tightly, his face digging into my neck. "I've missed you too, Bella."

"Hey, save some for me, eh?"

I pulled back, my eyes looking at the boy behind Calum, his blue eyes meeting mine. I wasn't sure whether it was dread or relief that spread through me when I met his eyes.

"Bell, hey." Luke smiled, wrapping his arms around my waist.

I was sure he could feel how tense I was under his touch but he ignored it, wrapping his arms tighter around me, lifting me off the ground.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, letting out an awkward laugh. He set me back on my feet, pulling back to look at me. His hair has gotten longer, he still had his lip ring in, his blue eyes had become just a tad duller.

As much as I tried to pull back, I just stood there, looking at him. The boy that had been stuck inside my head the last ten months was standing in front of me. 

I forced myself to pull back, taking a step back, my back hitting Harry's chest. I jumped forward quickly, tripping over my own feet. Someone's hands went straight to my waist, keeping me from hitting the ground. 

I was shocked to look up and meet Harry's green eyes instead of Luke's blue ones. 

"You've gotten quite good at that, huh?" I blurted, watching him laugh at my words.

"So.." Luke suddenly said. "Who's this? A friend?"

"Uh, yeah," I said, glancing at look. "Something like that. Boyfriend."

Luke's eyes widened before turning his attention to Harry, shock and angry written across his face. "Boyfriend?"

"Yeah," Harry said to him, sticking his hand out to him. "The name's Harry."

"Harry," Luke echoed, his eyes on me. "Luke."