more ↠ lrh

thirty-five

"Flight 235 to Sydney is now boarding."

I frowned, looking over at Luke, who pulled his hands from mine to grab his luggage. Ashton wrapped an arm around my shoulder, squeezing my shoulder gently, reassuringly.

As soon as Luke picked up his bag, I put my fingers between his, clinging onto his arm. He looked down at me and smiled gently, squeezing my hand.

We stopped once we got to the gate, Luke setting his bag down and turning to his friends. He hugged Ashton and Michael, mumbling that he loved them. Tears were already starting to burn my eyes as I wringed my fingers together.

Finally, he turned to me, wrapping his arms around my waist and lifting me off the ground. I dug my face into his neck, biting down hard onto my lip to stop from crying.

He set me down on the ground, not letting go. 

"Last call for Flight 235."

I pulled back and set my hands on his face, smiling through the burning tears. "I guess you better get going, huh?"

"Yeah," he said, his voice shaking. "Don't want to miss that flight."

He easily bent down and pressed his lips against mine, squeezing his eyes shut, furrowing his eyebrows together. Once he pulled away, I hugged him tightly, squeezing him reassuringly.

"I love you." He whispered, his forehead pressing against mine. 

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, pulling back to meet his blue eyes. "I love you too."

He pulled back and frowned. "I've got to go now."

He smiled at his friends and kissed my lips quickly before getting his bag and heading to the gate to board his flight.

I turned around and met Ashton's eyes as I bit down hard on my lip to stop from crying. 

He wrapped his arm back around my shoulder, smiling gently at me. "How about we grab some coffee?"

I pulled a sad smile before setting my head on his shoulder. "That sounds good."

I moved to put my hands in my-Luke's-hoodie pocket but was met with a paper. I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled it out, my fingers moving over my name scribbled on the front of the envelope in Luke's handwriting.

Once we got into the car, I tore open the seal and pulled out the letter.

Bell,

I know for a fact that I will see you again someday, what I'm sure of is that you're probably not going to be mine anymore. 

Which is nearly impossible of me to even think of. Thinking of you with someone that isn't me, it seems insane.

While I'm in Sydney, there is something that I want you to remember. First is that I love you. I'll never stop loving you, Arabella.

I don't want you to wait for me. I don't want you to sulk around and pretend that you're happy.

I want you to be happy. Genuinely. True happiness, I know for a fact that you're going to be happier without me.

I want someone else to know the warmth of your smile, to feel the way I did when I was in your presence. I want the to feel the amount of love that I feel for you. Love and admiration.

I want you to know how happy you made me and although we both have hurt each other, in the end, I was better for it. I don't know if what we had was true love but if it wasn't, I hope never to fall in love. Because of you, I know I can never love someone as much as I love you.

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul. I want you to know that I have kept sacred, everything you had entrusted in me and I always will.

Finally, I want you to know how sorry I am for pushing you away when I only meant to bring you closer. And if I ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all.

If I can't be your home, your forever, your love, maybe I could be your friend. Maybe sometime down the road, we could learn to love each other like we used to.

Maybe you will find someone that can be your home, your forever, the love of your life. Don't wait for me, don't even think about it, Bell.

There is someone out there that is more perfect for you than I. Someone who can make you more happy than I can. But they will never be able to love you like I can, Bell. 

I will forever love you, Arabella. But there's someone out there than can do it better than I.

Until next time.

                                                                                      - Luke