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fifty: the end

Dear Jax,

If there's anything I've done right, it's love your mother. One day, I hope, you'll find someone to love just as much as I love your mother.

One day you'll meet a girl who will talk about the world as if she's lived a thousand lives and she'll see things in such a different perspective that you'll questions everything you know. 

She'll describe things in words you've never heard but they sound so beautiful coming out of her mouth that you'll look them up and start using them yourself. She'll be curious and have the wonder of a child and the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat' will take on a new meaning. When people tell her things she doesn't wanna hear and it makes her heart break in half so you end up holding her and picking up the pieces. 

She'll bring out a passion in you that no one knew you had and she'll make you feel something you've never felt. She'll hide her face when you see her with her hair up and no makeup and her voice will catch in your throat because she looks like the most beautiful woman in the world. She'll act a little crazy and ignite a fire in your bones that burns so bad it makes you want to run for you life. Don't. Don't you dare. 

Stare at her even if she's so bright if burns, hold her close even though you're terrified that if you touch her the wrong way she'll break. Kiss her so hard that you see stars, trace the scars that litter her body, do not let her be ashamed. She makes you feel vulnerable and it will scare the living hell out of you. You're not used to being out of control, let the new experience teach you lessons. It won't make you a hero to leave because you think you'll break her, you are doing her no favors by killing something that hasn't yet been brought to life. 

So do not run. Do not run away from what scares you because you have the potential to be so much more than a coward who breaks her heart. Love her for as long as the universe allows, because if you don't I swear you'll regret it.

I know you miss your mother, I do too, everyday she's gone is another hard day for me. Even after I'm gone, there's letters, there's memories of us all, there are so many pieces of your mother and I left behind and they're for you, my son.

I love you Jax, I love you so much.

                                                                                                                  - Your                                                                                          dad, Luke Hemmings