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thirty

A knock on the door pulled me from my bed in hopes of Luke standing on the other side telling me that he was staying in LA with me.

But instead, when I opened the door, Ashton stood on the other side, a sad smile pulled across his lips.

"He's gone?" I asked, my voice shaking.

Ashton nodded as I felt my body give out from underneath me, heavy sobs racking my body. Ashton easily wrapped his arms around me, preventing me from hitting the ground.

"Holy shit, Arabella." He said, shutting the door and setting me on the couch.

"Why couldn't he stay here with me?" I asked, digging my head into his chest.

He wound his arms around me, pulling me closer to him. "Aria, please don't cry, you know I hate seeing you cry."

"It's not fair," I sobbed against him. "Why-"

"Aria, just calm down before you have a panic attack," he said, rubbing my back softly. "Calm your breathing."

"Ash, I-I can't-"

"Think about something happy, focus on something happy and breathe deeply." He said to me.

Black dots started to invade my vision and I started becoming lightheaded. I closed my eyes and tired to focus on something that made me happy but didn't stress me out. 

"I don't have an-anything that makes me happy." I said between breaths, holding my head in my hands.

"Think about your sister, your remember her stupid jokes?" Ashton said, chuckling lightly. "What about me? I make you happy, right? You remember all our happy times together at the Hideout?"

I nodded, focusing on Ashton and how happy he made me. His jokes and his cuddles that always made me feel better. 

My breathing start to return to normal, Ashton's arms wrapped tightly around me as he comforted me.

Once my breathing returned to normal, wrapped my arms around his torso, falling forward and against him as he fell back against the couch.

"Thank you, Ashton." I said, closing my eyes and resting my head against his chest.

He wrapped his arms around me, moving so I was comfortable laying on his chest. 

"Of course, Aria."

I set my chin on his chest to look up at him, meeting his brown eyes. "Is he okay?"

He moved a hand to my face, brushing a piece of hair away. "I think so."

"Did he cry?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

I chuckled, starting to get up. Ashton stopped me by wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me back down. 

"Ash, what are you doing?" I chuckled, my chest pressed against his.

"Can't we just cuddle?"

"I need to take a shower and I can make up something to eat," I said, moving his wrist to look at his watch. "It is almost eight, we can order a pizza?"

"Fine," he said moving so he was sitting up. "But I'm paying."

I chuckled, ruffling his hair before standing. "In you dreams, Irwin."

***

"Oh, I almost forgot," Ashton said, digging around in his pockets. "Luke told me to give you this."

He pulled out an envelope that's folded all weird, the clean paper now wrinkled. 

I immediately recognized it as a letter, taking it from his hands. "Uh, thanks."

I went into the kitchen to order a pizza, unfolding the letter and taking a deep breath.

Bell,

I'm sorry.

I just hope that you understand why I had to leave. As much as I didn't want to, as much as I wanted to stay with you, I had to. 

You still have Ashton and Michael, even Crystal.

I know they're not me, but it's what I had to do.  I don't want you to stay mad at me forever, I would actually like for you to return a letter to me.

I know it's probably easier to shoot you a text, but where's the fun in that? Letters are our thing.

By the time you read this, I'm probably still on the plane or landed in Sydney. 

All I have to say is that I love you and miss you already.

                                                                                                                                   - Luke