more ↠ lrh

four

I was walking, not walking, nearly running down the street, my fingers intertwined with the boy by my side. 

"Lucas, slow down, you know I can't keep up with your long legs!" I whined, causing the tall boy to chuckle and slow down.

I smiled softly, swinging our hands as he smiled again. We stopped at the crosswalk, waiting for the light to tell us we could go, my arms wrapping around Luke's torso. He smiled down at me, pushing my hair from my face before leaning down and kissing my lips softly.

We walked into the coffee shop across the street, the barista instantly smiling at the sight of us. We moved to our usual spot in the shop, Luke going to get our coffees they already made.

"Thanks, Molly." Luke smiled, paying the girl before moving back over to us.

He handed me my iced coffee and set his hot one on the table. "I don't get how you can drink hot coffee."

"I don't get how you can drink cold coffee, it's meant to be hot."

I rolled my eyes at the blue eyed boy. "Debatable."

He just smiled and pulled a book out, both of our attention drawing to the books in our hands. 

"I love you." Luke mumbled, nudging my knee with his foot.

"Love you too."

I sat up in bed, my body dripping in sweat, my heart pounding against my chest.

That wasn't a dream nor a nightmares. It was a memory. A memory. I remembered something.

I tried to reach over for my phone but it wasn't there. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, turning on the lamp and looking to see if it fell on the floor. Nope, it wasn't there either.

Confused, I sat up, going downstairs and getting a drink of water. "Honey."

I nearly dropped the glass, spinning around to see my dad standing in the doorway, clad in his pajamas.

"Hey," I said, sipping from the glass in my hand. "What are you doing up?"

"Had a dream," I said to him. "A memory, actually."

"Oh really? Of what?" 

"Luke."

My dad's shoulders sagged, sighing deeply. 

"Why don't you guys like him?" I asked curiously.

"He's just-he's not a good guy, Bella," he said. "When you two were together, we hardly saw you. You never came home."

"That was his fault?" I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Yes," he nodded. "You changed majors in colleges, started doing things we didn't teach you to, you got tattoos, you drank alcohol."

"That doesn't sound like me."

"That's because it wasn't."

"Where's uh-where's my tattoo?" I asked him.

"Inside of your elbow."

I pulled my sleeve up, looking down at the small tattoo. It was a small sunflower. My favorite flower. "How had I never seen it?"

My dad shrugged. "You would have never gotten a tattoo if you didn't date Luke."

I frowned, pulling my sleeve back down. "I'm sorry."

"Oh, you have nothing to be sorry for." He quickly hugged me and frowned.

"I just-I wish I could remember."

"I don't know, Bella," he said. "Maybe it's better if you didn't."

***

"What did I do for a living?" I asked my parents at breakfast.

"You were a writer," my mom answered. "You were an editor at the LA Times."

"I thought you guys wanted me to be a lawyer."

"We did," my dad said. "We do. You changed your mind."

"How did Luke and I meet?" I asked curiously. "When did we meet? What happened to David?"

"Honey, you don't need to ask all these questions-"

"Yes, I do, I need to know how I ended up here."

"The past doesn't matter," my dad said. "There's no reason for you to worry about that."

"The past does matter, this is bullshit, I want to know who I was!"

"You were someone else, you weren't our daughter," my mom yelled. "You weren't a good kid anymore, you were an irresponsible adult."

"I want to know everything about the gap I can't remember."

"It's not important and that's final."

I shoved the plate of food away and stood up, going upstairs and into my bedroom, slamming the door.

This was a curse. I couldn't remember. 

I moved my fingers into my hair, pulling at the roots in hope of remembering something. Anything.