I WISH I WAS THE NERD: the girl at the back

16th Chapter

Sam....

I supposed to meet a client today but I never knew that client would be Tracie Burton.

"Long time no see." She greeted.

"Can't you make a better excuse to meet me?"

She shrug her shoulder."I don't want yo disturb you on the time when you should rest. Don't you think this is better? "

That's right and its not like we are close friends to begin with.

"Why? What exactly do you need from me?"

"Nothing much. I just want someone to have a lunch with."

What a bad liar? "Who would go this far just to find someone to eat with."

The ordered food came in.

I was about to start eating when she said a name that makes me lost my appetite.

"Xena? How is she?"

"Why?"

"nothing really I just suddenly remember."

Its been five years since I last heard from her. The last thing we talked about is how busy is she at work. Then she suddenly cut connection. When I asked auntie she said she's alright but her expression tells me other wise.

I can't do anything but wait. And I've been waiting for almost five years now. All I want is to know of she is alright, she's still live right? I don't wanna think that way but I can't think of any other reason why she have to cut me away.

After the meal.

"I have to go now." I said.

"wait."

"why?!" I'm getting pissed.

"I need your help with something."

I sigh..I knew it she wouldn't come here just for nothing.

" I'm not interested."

"That's too bad, then never mind I'm not the one who actually needs it. So just don't bother if you don't want to." Then she left.

what heck is wrong with her? I'm getting a bad feeling about this.

Then the very next day I was assign to transfer.

For days I was thinking what was she wants from me.

But then I saw a woman that from just a glance I can tell it was her. Xena.

I myself don't know how could I recognize her when she looks totally different from the Xena I knew.

I'm very glad for a short moment, but then why? She is alive and still very healthy and it's not like she forgot who I am. Why did she cut me away?

I don't think I would be this angry seeing her.

And what kind of situation is this? She is working as Gill Burton's secretary, but he has no idea that it is Xena.

then another Xena came. Was this all Tracie's doing? what is she planning?

I'm still mad at Xena but looking at her hurting. I can't take it.

I brought her to the coffee shop that is also inside the company.

"...I'm sorry..." she said looking down. Is she really Xena? She is really different from before. Just what happend to her to be like this. I wonder how I recognize her.

"Are you ok?" I can't help but ask her.

"Yes." She answer while trying look at me but bring her head down again.

"Are you sure you are Xena?" I'm wishing she could deny.

She nodded. " yes.."

"You. You still like that jerk aftet all this time?"

"I don't!" She strongly deny that it makes me think that she is lying.

"Liar." If she just continue on lying to me its just a waste of time asking. I should better leave.

But she hold my arms shouting. "I promise I didn't lie!!. maybe...I just .... I don't understand what I feel. I know to myself that I did already moved on a long time ago. ... but when I came back I kinda feel strange at times,, but that doesn't mean I still have feelings for him.... Right?"

To think she still have feelings for that jerk after all. What a stupid girl.

"But...That wasn't important right now." She said. "You... you are still very angry at me don't you? I don't even know how to properly apologize to you." Is she going to cry again? I think she's about to.

"Why do you even bother coming back?" I said still feeling so disappointed on her.

She lowered her head again. "...To be honest.. it wasn't on my plan coming back but Tracie gave an offer to help our orphanage if I worked here for a year..... If I quit on the given time she will tear down the orphanage. So I really have no choice."

So I was right it was all Tracie's doing. What's running in that brain of hers?

"Now I should thank Tracie. Because of her I wouldn't know that you are still alive."

"...I'm sorry.." Looking at her breaks my heart. Should I give her a chance to at least explain herself?

"What's with your get up? Did Tracie also ordered you to dress like a nerd?"

She bit her lip, take a deep breath and try to smile like it is the hardest thing to do. Did I said something wrong?

"No.... This is how I usually dress."

"What?" This is how she usually dress? I don't remember her enjoying that look.

"I can't leave with out this glasses after the surgery. And I find this simple dresses to be so comfortable."

"S.. Surgery?" Why does she had a surgery?

"I'm a little hopeful that you would forgive me if I tell you what happened to me.... But... If you still mad at me after hearing it I don't know what else could I do."

"Tell me. It is for me to decide."

She took a deep breath, unsure of what she's going to say.

"I know this is not enough reason to cut our communication and you might get more angry with me but...."

"Just tell me. OK. "

"I was caught in a car accident. In a comma for days and when I woke up I lost my sight. "

"huh?" I was so shock. How could suxh thing happend.

"And when I overheard them that I had no chance to see again...... I shamelessly tried to killed myself."

"WHAT?! are you insane? "

"I'm glad someone saved me. It turns out that I still have a chance. I stayed blind for more than a year. But when my sight came back I can't bring myself to act like I was before. My memory is complete but I suddenly forgot how the old me do things her way. I find my old clothes so uncomfortable to wear. I want the most simple cloth all plain things. And most of all I can't bring myself to respond to my old mails. I don't understand myself either."

I'm speechless. She did had a hard time. But I wish she could tell me. I wish she could let me help her.

"Am I not reliable enough for you to hide all that from me?" I feel so bad. For not being with her in those hard time.

"Please don't think that way!"

"Then tell me more." I'm feeling sorry for her. I should stop being angry. It wasn't even in my plan to get angry with her my whole life. I should understand her.

"Huh?" She's so cute. She didn't expect me to forgive her.

Even though she's so much different than the Xena I knew before, She is still her body and soul. Even before this is how we do things she is so trouble some and I'm the one who always have her back.

tbc...