I WISH I WAS THE NERD: the girl at the back

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

xena carter

I really regret what i did.

I went to the nearest playground to cool my head and get some fresh air; i think that's what i need the most right now- to get some air. Gill followed me, i don't want him too but i'm not in the mood to argue with him.

i sit in the swing. gill did the same.

"sorry." I said. I do feel sorry for him too.

"i should be the one saying that. I'm sorry its all my fault."

"not really. it's all me and my temper. I really hate telling other people about my personal life. but i feel like i should tell you so you can understand what i did back there.

It's been three years since dad left and it's also been three years since we last talk about him. me and mom don't dare to talk about him with each other. so you mentioning him flip some switch of mine."

"its really my fault i guess."

"no. its not like you know anything. i'm so grateful to her, my mom, she's not my biological mother. she's been taking care of me since i was ten, we've been together for almost 7 years. I love her more than any one, cause its only with wher i felt that i'm loved. But when father left i felt afraid that any moment she will leave me too. Or is she only keeping me cause she's thinking that father will come back to her because of me? Is she just keeping me because of father not because she love me? so many questions that i'm so afraid to ask her."

"If I'm in your place, I don't know what to do either. I can't give you any advice. just do what do you think you have to."

"the thing i have to do? you're useless" I remember that i need to apologize to mom for what i did earlier.

"I'll walk you home. I bet your mom will get worried about you if you come home to late."

"yeah, I can walk by myself."

"no. don't be so stubborn. i promise i won't go inside this time." still have the guts to joke around

.....

We arrive in front of our house.

"I almost forgot."

"what?" what can he possibly forgot?

"the important person i was finding."

"I told you you don't have to tell me."

"Its my sister." then he turn his back at me and left. that's it? telling me that it is his sister but not giving me any detail? so unfair. i almost told you my whole like jerk!

........

when i entered the house mom was in the living room. did she wait for me.

"where have you been it's so late."

"only at the park."

"i thought you will never come back after that. don't scare me like that."

"I don't really have anywhere to go...beside here."

"that's why i was worried." she looks like she's been crying all this time.. is it because if i left there will be no chance for her to get father back?

'' I.. I'm sorry." I was about to go to my room but i suddenly remember what gill said that i should do what i think i have to do. so i stopped from walking, i'll stop running away.

''mom..."

"en?"

"do.. do you love me? do you ever loved me as your daughter?" she started crying again

" what kind of silly question is that?!!! you're my daughter! i love you cause your my daughter. your not just anyone your my daughter." that's all I need too hear.

"mom..." she walks toward me and give the warmest hug i ever felt in my whole life. i hold her back thighter as i could, like i don't want to let it go forever

"mom..momm. mom.." calling her..i can't stop myself i really like calling her my mom,, my one and only mom for me. she might not be the mother who gave birth and give life to me but she is my mom who makes me feel alive.

that night we slept together. i might sleep i her bed from now on.

i asked her a question that night

" when dad left me with you, do feel a lot burden? its ok to be honest. form now on i won't be so naughty."

she laugh a bit.

"when he left and leave you behind, i felt thankful cause he doesn't take you away from me. i felt relive that he is stupid to leave his cute daughter to me. i also have nothing except you. my family disowned me because i fell in love and choose your father over them. your father left but i atleast still have my daughter that i cherish the most."

"mom.. your such a sweet talker. your giving me goose bumps.really"

and we both laugh the night out.

......

My mom is the most kindhearted person i have ever met. She still loved me even though i always giving her hard times. sometimes i don't understand why she's so kind to me, or maybe she's like that to everyone like its her nature to be nice.

I went to school in with a good mood. The weather is nice, i feel like it so peaceful. I get off the bus and started to walk then..

"Hey your the second year in our room right? Xena right?"

I was so shock i can't believe that she approach me first. She is one of the girl who beat up the nerd. Her name is Ella, and the two was Mia and Eve.

"Unnie!!" I became quite excited seeing her.

"Have you seen the latest episode of hwarang?? V made me cry."

"Oh no.. i haven't seen it. I don't want spoiler. What happend?"

"Hahaha... i thought you don't like spoiler, just watch it yourself"

"I've been quite busy this days. But if i have time i'll watch it when class ended." I wanna watch it as soon as possible.

"Yeah, you better watch it. Its so good."

"Can i join you in lunch time. I wanna talk to you guys more."

"I guess its fine i'll tell mia and eve. We'll wait for you at the class."

.....

I'm feeling lucky today. I hope this luck continue further more. Its almost lunch time, my excitement makes me forgot about Gill. I know he will find me at lunch, I have to be careful getting out of this room. I'm confident that once i get in his classroom he wont find me any more, cause he will never imagine that the place i was in all this time is in his class.

Once the bell rung I immediately run out the class room, took the opposite direction, the one that is farther to get in gill's classroom, cause i know he will take the other one. I just hope that once i get in their building he was already out. worst if he is still in the class my efforts will go down for nothing.

I was hiding and running vice versa. If someone i know saw me i'm sure they will make fun of me, others might think i'm crazy.

HIDE!!

RUUUNN... aw! I bump into some guy. he holds my back so i won't fall from bumping into him, almost like hugging me..

When I realize who he is... my eyes widen, my face feels like burning, my breathing suddenly stopped.

WHY!!! this is bad!!!

TBC....