I WISH I WAS THE NERD: the girl at the back

CHAPTER THIRTY~NINE

I need to talk to Prince, so I waited for him here outside by his car.

He is finally here but he is about to pass me by. I grab his arm to stop him. Then said what I have to.

"Stay away from Xena." He faces me with a glare and takes my hand away him.

"I'm afraid that would be impossible."

"Impossible? How come? You only met each other not long ago. Staying away from her won't do you any harm." Unlike me. Staying away from her makes me so broken. So how could you easily say that it is impossible for you?

"It doesn't matter. It's impossible just because I don't want to."

"You don't understand. It's for her own good if you don't Tracie is going to bully her."

"I don't care."

"What?" Is he still after Tracie and just using Xena?

"I don't care, cause I know I can protect her." I'm getting a bit angry.

"You can't."

"I can. So is that the reason why you break up with Xena?; because you are afraid of your sister?"

"Bullshit. I'm not afraid of her but I'm afraid for Xena."

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes. I love her so much."

"Then you're dumb; for letting her go with just that." I grab his collar from anger.

"You don't know anything! If it is just from school I can protect her but inside this house... in my own place! I can't even protect her! This is all I can do for her.."

"I can guess... But I already said I can protect her. Saying to me to stay away from her.. Are you saying it for her sake or for yourself?" I let go of him as I just suddenly realized it too.

"What do you mean?" but I still asked. Is what his thinking was the same as mine?

"Are really just afraid of Tracie.. Oh you just said you're not. Let me rephrase my question; Are you really just afraid for Xena? Or are you afraid of me?"

How? Am I actually thinking about that? I didn't even notice but I'm feeling guilty.

"..I'm not." I don't have a choice but to deny.

"No, you are afraid that I might take her away from you. You're afraid of me catching her while you're pushing her."

"I said I don't!!" I suddenly burst from anger.

"Then don't tell me to stay away from her." He gets in his car and drive away.

I'm such a loser. And that's not new between us. I always lose to him in everything but I was never bothered by it and just shrugged my shoulder, until now, I can't just shrugged my shoulder with this. I feel like I'm the biggest loser.

I know what he said is true. I can't take it if they end up together. If they do I think I'll be the one who will get to crush them before Tracie even made her first move.

I'm so stressed!

Xena...

I slept late so I can't wake up early as I planned to.

I came down and didn't even bother to look at the kitchen to find something to eat cause the might be there.

When I got outside I saw Prince and his car he slightly waved at me. I suddenly remember Gill, he used to do that, I didn't imagine that I could actually miss him doing that. I got sad for a moment.