Fiction.

Chapter 3: The Drug in Me is you.

Chapter 3: The Drug in Me is you.

I waited at the Doctor’s office alone that morning. It has been the longest week of my life. I haven’t seen Rosie since last Tuesday. Gladly I didn’t start work until noon and the appointment is at nine. I waited in a pair of black dress pants and a white muscle shirt that was tucked into the pants. I was waiting for Rosie to show up. She doesn’t know I’m here so this could either be really good or extremely bad.

I waited patiently in the morning sun, trying to gather some colour so I didn’t look so dead. My bike was locked up to a stop sign. My mom offered to drive me but I didn’t want her to wait with me. She’d probably ask me all these questions that I’m still to sort out. I wanted to know where we stand; I wanted to know how this will work. I just wanted to know why she dumped me without reason. And I was to know why she’s leaving California a year after the baby is born. I’m not a bad guy, yeah I’ve done some bad stuff but I’m not nearly as bad as her. She’s like ten times worse than me. I’m just a little misfit but she has a criminal record. I don’t know why I love her. I just do.

Butterflies gathered in my stomach as I heard Rosie’s mom’s car come up the street. I tried not to smile but I couldn’t help it. It was Rosie after all. The girl I was head over heels in love with. I know she ripped my heart out but when you love someone, even if they hurt you, you can’t stop loving them. It’s sick but I’d rather see the good in her even when the bad is brighter.

I lounged on the steps to the Doctor’s office with my hands behind my head and my right leg lazily hanging over my left. I heard her shoes come tapping up the sidewalk with a slow pace and a light step. They stopped when she stood over me. I kept my gaze on her with a cocky smirk, her mom Jenny stood as tall as her. She was a nice lady, Jenny.

“Jimmy, I thought I told you not to come.” Rosie muttered at me. I got up off the pavement and looked down at her, I haven’t properly hit my growth spurt yet but I was already taller than her. I smiled a friendly grin.

“I don’t care what you say, you can ban me from being there when that baby is born but you can’t ban me from being in that baby’s life.” I was determined to stay in this kid’s life. I wanted to be a dad; I wanted the responsibility in my life, something to work for a better future for. I think this baby will help me get my head in the game even though I’m one of the smartest kids at school. It’ll help me think about my future. Rosie stood there with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. She was drop dead gorgeous today; her hair was naturally curly but not too curly. She had the front back in a clip while she wore a red top with a V neck. I could tell she was shopping for new jeans. Jenny smiled and messed up my hair.

“Jimmy, how is it you’re more grown up about this than my own daughter?” Jenny asked a very good question.

“This baby is apart of whom I am. I’m going to fight for him or her. I don’t care what people say. I’m apart of him or her and he or she is apart of me. I’m not going to pass the opportunity to be there like a real man.” I announced with a stubborn tone. Jenny furrowed her eyes brows at me curiously as Rosie stood there with an unimpressed expression. I was really on her shit list, I don’t care.

“Seriously, how old are you?” Jenny asked. I smiled and shrugged slightly and held the door open for the pair of them. You know how the boyfriend tells his girlfriend’s mom the two of them could be sisters? I’m honestly not joking when I say that about Rosie and Jenny. Jenny is only thirty and has a teenage daughter and is about to become a Grandma. That’s crazy. My parents are in their forties. They had me when they were Jenny’s age.

Waiting for the Doctor to come and get us was insanely irritating. I had to sit and tap my heal so I wouldn’t go insane. Rosie and Jenny sat across the room talking and looking at magazines. I was getting extremely nervous and excited. I get to hear my baby’s heart beat for the first time. I know Rosie is only six weeks pregnant but this is exciting. I can’t wait to hear the first sound a human I helped create can make. Sure it’s just a heart beat but it means so much more to me. It’s reassurance that this is real. It’s telling me that I’m responsible for a human being.

A tall black haired female Doctor came into the waiting area and called Rosie’s name. All three of us jumped to our feet. I think I was about to explode with excitement and nervousness. Rosie sat up on the bed with a sweetened, shy smile. I kept my gaze locked on her because she is just so amazing.

“Rosie, I’m Doctor Wilkos, I’m going to be your OB/GYN.” The fair skinned, dark haired Doctor announced. She was short like Rosie but she was muscular like me. She had pure white skin like snow and hair dark as night. She had crystal blue eyes and a nice smile. Rosie was asked a few questions like, is there morning sickness? Are you taking all the vitamins you’re supposed too? And a few other questions but those ones made my cheeks heat up a little bit through insecurity. Jenny and Doctor Wilkos laughed at me as I shribbled off into the corner. I wasn’t the type of guy who was completely comfortable with talking about this.

Rosie was instructed to lie down on the little bed and pull her shirt up. I stayed seated in the corner where I belonged. The room fell dark and I stayed still in my seat.

My heart throbbed when I heard it, the sound that made me wake up. It was the best sound in the world. It was unlike anything you’ve ever heard. It might be just a sound but it gives you hope and faith that there are pure things in this world. That sound is the life I helped make, it is half of me. I don’t see how people say making a baby is like making a cake. One person can make a cake, one person can’t make a baby. It’s half of me and half of her.

I felt my lips curl into the biggest smile as I poked my head up to try and see. There was this small little peanut sized spec on the screen, it caught my eye instantly. I could feel the tears swell up in my eyes happily. That little spec on that screen is my child. Right now it might not seem like much but to me, it’s made the hell I’ve been living in seem worth while.

Rosie’s girly laugh filled my ears as her bronze eyes watched me carefully, her thin lips pulled back into a bright smile. Jenny smiled at me sweetly and Doctor Wilkos laughed lively. I wiped the tears from my eyes and sniffled.

“Jimmy, are you crying?” Rosie asked with a joking tone. I smiled widely and nodded. With every beat of that baby’s heart I loved it more and more. I already loved it with every ounce of my existence. To be perfectly honest, if Rosie doesn’t want this baby, I’ll be a single dad. I don’t care. There are single moms everywhere. It’s time for a man to step up and be a father to a child instead of allowing another person take your responsibility.

“Yeah, I think I’ve fallen in love all over again.” I replied with a sniffle and a cheerful smile. The adults awed at me and smiled.

“Next time I see you, I’ll be able to tell you what the baby is, boy or girl.” The Doctor announced something that’ll keep me going for the next three weeks. Three weeks until I find out if we’re having a boy or girl. We’ll need to start talking names. I don’t want my kid to have an ordinary name either but it’s not going to be ridiculous like ‘Blue Ivy’. I want him or her to have a kick ass name that has some bite to it but is settling as well. I already have a girl name in my head. I’ve always liked the name Peasnie.