Fiction.

Chapter 12: Heartache.

Chapter 12: Heartache.

I sat in History class that morning, it was only second period and I’m already exhausted and wanting to go home. Matt was sitting in the same class with me; he was nearly falling asleep at his desk while the teacher was at the black board talking complete gibberish that I didn’t understand. I was using my text books as pillows as I was barely able to keep my eyes open. It was nice and sunny outside but last night was really tough, after seeing Rosie and then Peasnie was up for the rest of the night. Rosie and Roger stayed outside for at least an hour after I told Rosie that if she didn’t straighten out I’d take Peasnie away. This morning I told my parents, they fully agree with me. If girls can do that to guys then guys can do that to girls. I know they’re happy by the fact that I was finally dating other girls and moving on. I don’t have a girlfriend but I’ve been on dates. My life is crazy; sometimes it feels like the world is on my shoulders, everybody’s leaning on me. But when I look into Peasnie’s eyes the world makes sense again. She reminds me of everything that I’ve worked for. She shifts the weight on my shoulders, even when her mom’s making my life a living hell.

Matt had his walk man plugged into his ears; he was a brave son of a bitch. Our History teacher Mrs Barr was a hard ass, she was small but damn she was tough. If she caught Matt listening to music, Matt will get an ear full not just of music. I chuckled to myself and shook my head at his bravery.

I sat at my desk in board shorts, a white tee shirt under an undone blue checkered shirt and my old sneakers. My hair was spiked up so I had to sit at the back of the class room. I could feel my glasses start to slide down my face. I had no idea what was going on in class and honestly I didn’t really care.

It’s the second last month of school, only six more weeks of school left then it’s summer time. I can’t wait to take Peasnie to the beach and to take her swimming. I know she likes the bath but this is the ocean and a swimming pool. I can’t wait to take her to the park and let her run around in the grass. I work still but they only ask me to work weekends for twelve hours. So in total I work twenty four hours.

My attention was caught when Principle Hendricks came into the class room with a stern but worried expression. He was a short man with orangey red hair and blazing blue eyes. He scanned the class room carefully, his gaze stopping on me.

“James Sullivan.” He called my name. And just like that everybody’s eyes were on me. I sat up straight in my desk and cleared my throat.

“Yeah?” I replied softly. Mr Hendricks motioned me to come with him. I gathered my books and walked up to the front of the class, my gaze ran over to Matt who had his headphones around hi neck.

“What happened?” Matt mouthed to me. I shrugged and followed our Principle silently. The class was whispering harshly behind my back. They didn’t think I could hear them but I could. I rolled my eyes and sighed. Once we were in the hall way he turned to me and frowned. The class room door closed behind us and Mrs Barr’s voice shrieked through the halls. Matt just got caught. What did I tell you? I swallowed hard and watched Mr Hendricks carefully.

“We’ve called an ambulance, Peasnie is having trouble breathing and we can’t get her to breath normally.” His announcement made my heart jerk. I began to run down the hall way, Mr Hendricks trailing beside me carefully. Peasnie was in trouble and I wasn’t there, I felt like I failed her.  I was supposed to protect her and this is what happens. I slid into the day care center to see two EMTs standing above my little girl. Her cry was distorted and distraught. It was whinny, it sounded like she couldn’t breathe. I threw my books aside and rushed to her side. She was slightly blue in the face. The colour of her skin worried me deeply. I couldn’t feel right now, I just reassured her. I held her tiny hand in mine; she seemed to calm down a little bit but her distorted cry was still there.

“Sir, you can’t be here.” One of the EMTs said. I shook my head and held her tiny hand.

“I’m her dad.” I replied with a worrisome voice. The two EMTs told me to hold the baby girl as we were taken into the ambulance. This was the scariest thing that’s ever happened to me. I can’t imagine how scared she must be. I wanted to sit in a corner and cry but I couldn’t let her see I was scared. I had to be brave.

The EMTs asked me so many questions about her health, I knew she had an enlarged heart and some symptoms of asthma but that’s it. I held the baby girl in my arms and watched as she was hooked up to so many monitors. Her tiny body was almost completely covered in wires. I let a few tears slip down my face but when I looked down at the terrified baby girl I wiped them away and put on a brave face. I falsely smiled at her.

“It’s okay Peasnie; it’s going to be okay.” I whispered down to her.

When we arrived at the hospital there were doctor’s waiting. They wanted me to put Peasnie down and back away while they worked on her. That was the hardest thing I’ve had to do yet. I didn’t want to let her go because I felt if I let her go something bad will happen. But I had to let her go, she cried so loudly and as a parent you want to make the bad go away but I couldn’t. I had to stand aside and watch as they ran IVs into her and did tests, they sedated her and put an oxygen tube up her nose and down her throat. I was in too much fear to cry so I stood there at her bedside, her tiny hand in mine.

My mom and dad came in about forty five minutes later. My mom’s cries set me off, she hugged me tightly and I cried into her shoulder. I could feel my body shaking violently. My dad rubbed my back; my hand never left Peasnie’s. I needed to keep apart of her in my grasp so I could separate a nightmare from reality.

“It’s okay baby.” Mom reassured softly as she stroked my hair. I nodded into her shoulder and sobbed.

“I want her to be okay, I don’t want her to be sick.” I whimpered softly and lifted my head, and wiped my eyes with my sleeve. I felt my stomach knot violently when I saw the sleeping child lying on the bed with wires and tubes coming from her.

“I know sweet heart.” Mom replied softly. I dried my tears and knelt down at the child’s side with a brave face.

“I promise you, you’ll be okay.” I promised with a stern voice. My heart jumped inside my chest when the ER Doctor came in with a clip board. He was a young guy with curly brown hair and brown eyes. He was tall and bulk. His expressionless face made my stomach jerk. He knew I was Peasnie’s dad. He wasn’t happy about it but he didn’t voice his opinion either.

“Mr Sullivan, we have the results.” He announced. My organs sank into my ass when he said that. I stepped towards him and prayed silently that she was okay.

“Peasnie’s heart is enlarged as you know but it was put under some stress, this can be caused by a cold or flu. Has she been ill lately?” He asked sullenly. I nodded and frowned.

“She’s getting over a cold.” I replied softly.

“Well I’m going to prescribe some antibiotics for her until it’s out of her system.” He added with a smile. I swallowed hard and nodded in understanding.

“Is she going to be okay?” I asked softly. The Doctor turned to me and smiled.

“Yes, she’ll make a full recovery.” His news made me sink into relief. My baby girl was going to be okay. She’ll be staying here for a few more hours but then we’ll go home and make sure she’s okay. She’ll be able to play sports and be normal.

I was beyond angry by the fact that Rosie wasn’t here. She and I go to the same school and I saw her when I was going to class, so I know she was there. I shook my head and brushed it off, if she comes to me I’m going to give her an ear full, I swear to God.

“See I told you, you’d be okay.” I said softly. I smiled down at the little girl and kissed her forehead sweetly. I brushed her dark curly hair from her face and kept a smile on my face for her sake, even though she couldn’t see me.