Fiction.

Chapter 5: Force of Nature.

Chapter 5: Force of Nature.

There wasn’t a cloud in the sky; it let the hot summer sun beat down on us as we sat on the abandoned play structure in the park. It was only ten in the morning and already it was really hot. At lunch we’re meeting Brian and Zack at the docks. Then after lunch we’ll go and get Johnny and head to Long Beach for the afternoon. I’ll be home just after nine tonight. I want to go and call on Rosie but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea. There seems to be a lot of tension between all of us. And my mom told me specifically not to hang out with that hussy unless it was needed and we were supervised. I didn’t want to call her out on calling the mother of my baby a hussy.  

I dangled my legs off the edge; they hung at least six feet above the ground. Matt leaned against the bars and smiled. He was dressed in a normal black tee shirt and denim board shorts. Matt’s my best friend, one of them at least. He was really dark but in a badass type of way. He wasn’t like the type to sit in a dark room with candles and a book about death poetry. He’s dark in the kicking over trash cans, being a hellion way. He and I are alike in many ways.

“Dude, it sucks that you can’t stay out late any more.” He said. I nodded and frowned.

“I guess that’s the price you’ve got to pay when you’re going to be a teen parent.” I muttered harshly. Matt nodded and sighed. He looked at me and sipped the can of cola he had. I finished mine on the way here; I needed to extra sugar in my system. His eyes were narrowed as the sun shone on his face.

“Are you sure it’s even yours?” He asked a question that made my head jerk upwards. What did he mean by that? Why would he ask me that? Of course it’s mine. I nodded.

“Yeah, I’m the only guy she’s ever slept with.” I sighed. By the way Matt was acting with his body and facial expressions he knew something I didn’t. He was jerking and fiddling with his gold chain. There were things in my head that were being bottled up and I needed to get them out there. I swallowed hard and looked over at Matt. I knew what was wrong now, it was time for the truth to come out.

“When did you hook up with Rosie?” I asked a brutal question that puzzled me for most of the day. Matt’s eyes were wide with surprise. It looked like he was staring at a ghost, his face was that pail. He sighed heavily and shifted in his place. He was uncomfortable with what I was saying and that sucks. I hated making him uncomfortable but it needed to be asked.

“About the time she got pregnant.” He muttered softly. His words made my heart fall inside my chest. I felt the walls go up so I could ignore the world. I always do that when I hear devastating news. I guess that’s what my mom meant by Rosie got to Matt as well as me. I kept my gaze down towards the gravel below. My stomach was knotting and making me sick. I looked at my feet with a frown.

“Before or after me?” I asked the dumbest question. Why would I care, why should I care? She cheated on me with my best friend. I don’t blame Matt. He’s my best friend; I’ve known him years before I met Rosie. I know how he can be but it doesn’t take the pain away. Matt bit his lip as his gaze fell to his lap.

“Before.” He replied. She lied to me also; she said I was her first. I was so happy that she was taking my virginity and I was taking hers. But she lied to me. I don’t know how I can still lover her. She’s lied to me and cheated on me. How can I love someone who does this to me? I know I deserve better, I don’t deserve this bull shit. I can do better. The pain of knowing she cheated and lied to me didn’t match up to the pain of knowing that life might not be made by me. I was so excited to be a dad even at this age. It’s like getting a piece of you ripped from your grasp. A life I thought I made might be made by another.

“Jimmy, she said you two had a fight and broke up.” Matt sputtered sadly. I shook my head and put of a brave face even though I was shot, stabbed, crushed and dying inside. I needed to keep my shit together, until I get home; then I can just feel horrible. But that doesn’t stop the feeling from creeping into my mind now. I’m beyond hurt and angry. She went to my best friend’s house, told him we broke up then slept with him. And then a few days later get with me. What if she got to Brian and Zack? What if she seduced them too? I can’t think about this now. I’m out to get my mind off this subject. My lips curled into a weary smile. I ran my fingers through my hair and sighed.

“Bitch aint worth my time.” It took so much courage to say that. I slid my body off the edge of the structure, landing the six foot drop on my knees. Matt followed me closely and grunted as he hit the ground. Matt was really short, but I can see him sprouting up like a weed soon. I looked down my nose at him without an expression. He shook his head and frowned.

“Hit me.” He directed. With wide eyes and a dropped jaw I shook my head slowly. What the fuck? He wanted me to hit him? Is he completely mental? Matt nodded and pointed to his cheek, just above his jaw line.

“Right here, knock me one.” He demanded. I staggered over my words and shook my head. My body swayed slightly. I narrowed my gaze at him and frowned.

“I’m not hitting you.” I replied sullenly. He nodded furiously.

“I slept with your girlfriend, I deserve it.” He added. I shook my head again. He kept demanding I knock him one right in the face but he’s my best friend. I wasn’t going to do that. I was going to keep protesting until he gives in. He wasn’t giving in and I was getting irritated. I could feel all the anger and resentment build up inside me. My fingers unknowingly curled into a ball as I stared at him egging me on to hit him. He began to call me names and antagonize me. I pulled my arm back and in one quick swing my fist made contact with his jaw, knocking my best friend tumbling to the ground. He winced loudly when his body hit the gravel. His hazel eyes glared up at me, his hand covered the bloody lip I’d just given him. I instantly felt horrible and helped him to his feet. His lip was burst and all bloody. I just let my anger get to me.

“I’m sorry man, I was pissed off and you weren’t helping.” I stumbled over my own words. I really did feel horrible about what I did. Matt laughed hardily and put his hand on my shoulder. He seemed fine but I bet he’s in some amount of pain.

“Damn, you’re a force of nature when pissed off.” He said and wiped the blood off his mouth. We began to walk down to the docks where we’d meet up with Zack and Brian. I smiled slightly and nodded. I like how no matter how angry I am with any one of the guys we can stare at each other and burst out laughing. We’re just that awesome. I’m still angry about what happened though; he was with my girlfriend and might be the father of the child I’m taking responsibility for.

I guess Matt saw how deep in thought I was as we walked to the docks. He wore a concerned expression and wiped the remaining blood from his lip. Instead of wiping it away, he smudged it into his skin but it wouldn’t matter. It’ll fade away, just like everything else.

“Why do you want to be this baby’s dad so badly?” He asked the million dollar question, why did I care? This kid could be mine but it also couldn’t. And the odds aren’t on my side. I shrugged slightly and sighed.

“I feel like this kid could go far in life. And I want to help it.” I murmured. I guess that’s the answer, I know I’ve only seen it once but when I saw that peanut look-a-like spec on the screen it was like looking into it’s future. It’s happy, brightly lit pathway of life. I’m going to be there for when it’s born, its first steps, first words. I’m going to be there for every holiday and birthday. We’ll have lots of things in common like music for example. I can see this baby grow up to be something big. Matt hardily chuckled at me and nodded as we walked the quiet streets.

“What’s its name going to be?” He asked with a jokingly deep tone, he was trying to act all mature but he was failing. I found it rather amusing. I smiled at the thought; I could feel my cheeks heat up with happiness.

“If it’s a girl, her name will be Peasnie, Peasnie Ann Sullivan.” I said that name with a proud voice. I loved that name, it was unique and settling. It had a badass ring to it. Matt smiled and praised me for thinking of such a cool name.

“And what if it is a boy?” His voice lingered down deeply. I frowned slightly.

“Steven Christopher Jones.” I muttered with a flat tone. I didn’t like that name so much, it didn’t have a ring to it. It was bland and ordinary, my child will be everything but ordinary. I also hated that if we’re having a boy, he’s not getting my last name. That’s kinda why I want to have a girl. I want my last name to live on with Peasnie.  Peasnie Ann Sullivan.