Fiction.

Chapter 18: Steal My Sunshine.

Chapter 18: Steal My Sunshine.

I stood in the kitchen while Peasnie was up in the shower. I know this was a really bad thing but I just went through her bags, just to see what she was like. She had a switch blade in a compartment, some cash in the main bag; she brought a few shirts, jeans, underwear and socks. She brought along some books and notes, and a video camera. Why she’d bring a video camera is beyond me. I’m a terrible dad for going through her bags.

I stood in the kitchen with the phone against my ear. I had to make a few calls before anything else happens. It was early afternoon and there is alot that needs to be done. Lacy doesn’t know that I’m technically a dad. She doesn’t know about Peasnie. I’m scared she’ll react badly. I inhaled deeply and dialled her cell phone number and waited for her to pick up.

“Hello?” She greeted, she sounded like she was in a car. My stomach knotted alot and my heart was beating a thousand miles an hour.

“Hey babe, it’s me.” I replied trying to act normal.

“Oh! Hiya Hun, what’s up?” She asked with a girly tone that I’m not used too. I swallowed hard and sighed.

“I have to tell you something.” I said back to her with a worrisome tone. It was quiet for a moment.

“Okay, tell me.” She replied softly. I inhaled deeply, holding my breath. This is it, time for Peasnie to be known in my adult life.

“When I was fourteen I became a dad to a little girl. Her mom took her away from me a year after she was born. She’s here now in my house having a shower.” I admitted. It was silent again before there was a loud roar of laughter. She was making fun of me? Does she think I’m lying, ‘cause I’m now.

“Peasnie is your daughter. I know.” She had a bit of news for me too. I stood there in the kitchen feeling like a fool. I swallowed hard and wearily smiled to myself.

“How’d you find out?” I asked sullenly.

“Val told me.” She said sweetly.

“Alright, I just wanted you to know and I wanted you to know that I’m going spend a few days with her.” I announced with a quiet tone. I could still hear the water running upstairs. I was glad she wasn’t going to be hearing this.

“It’s okay Jimmy, spend time with your daughter. I’ll see you soon.” Lacy said her Good-Byes and let me get on with the rest of the list. I called Brian, Zack, Matt and Johnny; they were freaked out a bit. They didn’t believe me when I told them that my daughter was in my house now, they thought I was having a mental break down. They needed to see it to believe it. So tomorrow morning they’re coming by to see her. The only people left to call are my parents, they’ll be in awe. But I’m not calling them today because they’re going to be over here faster than I can say ‘not today.’ I’ll call them tomorrow when things settle down a bit.

I smiled when Peasnie came waltzing into the kitchen in fresh clothes that I laid out for her. She looked like she could fit into my clothes, with the help of a belt of course. She wore my old Slayer tee shirt and a pair of my black skin tight jeans. Her long dark brown, damp hair was slightly curled but it was put up into a pony tail. She looked clean and fresh, you could see the difference between the colour of her skin before and the colour of her skin now. She defiantly got some sun on her skin.

I was still in awe that she was here. She was here in my house. Damn she looked just like me, she was tall and skinny. If she cut her hair and straightened it, she’d look just like me. She seemed to have some attitude with me; her arms were covered in scars and bruises. I knew what that meant. Should I bring it up? I didn’t want to bring it up if I’m wrong. She eyed me up slightly as I stared at the scars and bruises. It wasn’t like a few scraps and scars here and there, it was line after thin pink line running up her arms. Peasnie frowned at me and leaned against the counter.

“When I was twelve I started to self harm.” She admitted very openly. I nodded at the correct thought. I wasn’t disappointed, I didn’t know her two years ago. I can’t say what she was doing was right but I can’t say what she was doing was wrong. I looked from her folded arms to her blue gaze.

“Why did you do it?” I asked softly. She frowned again at me. I felt very intrusive on this subject. I could see she didn’t want to talk about it but she also wanted me to know, she’s torn in a war; not knowing which side to take. I felt my stomach become hallow but full of razors.

“I had a hard life; there are alot of things that are personal and private.”Her words made my fragile glass world fall to the ground below, smashing into thousands of pieces. When a teenage girl says stuff happened that are personal and private it usually means a lot of bad happened. I wasn’t born yesterday, and knowing what that means, that sick son of a bitch put his hands on her. I frowned at her with anger bubbling away in my stomach.

“What age did it start?” I asked quietly. Peasnie looked down at the floor and remained silent; she was contemplated on my question carefully. Her blue gaze ran from the floor to meet mine.

“Shortly after my mom left.”She whispered back to me. I felt my stomach drop into my ass. I had so many more questions to ask her but I wanted to start with the most important. I might be coming across as pushy but I’m her dad, I’m allowed. She kept her gaze locked with mine as her face became white as a ghost. She looked really pail and frightened.

“He didn’t just beat me and call me names.” She came out. I had to keep from looking angry or surprised. I had to keep a neutral expression on my face even though I was in complete shock and the angry that bubbled away in my stomach was over flowing. But above all that anger I was worried about her. Peasnie needed me and I wasn’t there most of the time. I can’t make it up but I’ll be there for the rest of her life.

“I know it’s a bullshit excuse to do this to myself but it was a way to cope.” She stuttered with a panicked tone. I shook my head at her and smiled wearily.

“As long as you don’t do it again, I don’t care about your past. I’m not happy about it but I’m not disappointed.” I replied softly. Her thin pink lips shivered into a weary smile. Her arms wrapped around me tightly squeezing my chest into her. She sobbed softly into my chest. I smiled slightly placing one hand on the centre of her back and the other on the side of her head.

“I love you dad.” She whimpered into my now tear stained grey tee shirt. My smile grew bigger at her words of kindness.

“I love you too Peasnie.” I replied softly, stroking her hair in a fatherly way. I kissed the top of her head gently and seized the moment. It might not be picture perfect but it’s a moment of truth. She’s only known me for two hours and she’s already admitted alot of things that most adults wouldn’t. She’s brave for trusting me like that.