Fiction.

Chapter 29: M.I.A.

Chapter 29: M.I.A.

“Dad,” A gentle voice whispered in my dreams. My dreams had gone sour, they went bad. Every night I had the same dream over and over again. I was standing over myself while Peasnie was shaking me violently, she was crying loudly for me to wake up. I didn’t wake up; I wasn’t going to wake up. I saw Peasnie’s life go sour from there. At the end of the dream she’d be standing over my head stone sobbing for me to wake up. She pulled out something, a veil and injected something into her. She said the pain would go away if she could sleep forever. I hated that, I hated not being able to hold her and make her better.

I opened my eyes to the blurry world; a tall feminine form knelt down beside me, stroking my hair softly. The bright lights blinded me, forcing me to cringe into myself.

“It’s time to get up.” The soft angelic voice added softly. I opened my eyes again, squinting them slightly. I pulled the blanket over my head and sank into the bed. It’s been six weeks since I last saw Lacy and that’s amazing. I didn’t need to worry about her and things have gone back to normal, all except I’ve come down with depression. It was really bad as well. I was always tired, I’ve lost a couple pounds and Peasnie is worrying about me. I don’t want her to do that. She didn’t need to worry about me. I was like a toddler, she’d wake me up in the mornings, make sure I got dressed and showered. She made sure I ate and had my meds. She’d make sure I was gone to work before leaving. She was more of an adult than I was. She’s missed four days of school already. I know the school is getting worried about me and they might take her away from me.

“Screw it; I’m staying home to make sure you’re looked after. This is ridiculous.” Peasnie spat at me before yanking the bedding off of me and tossing it across the room. The cool morning air settled against my skin, sinking to my bones. I shivered slightly. Peasnie grabbed my ankles and pulled me aside. My legs hung off the bed loosely, she came up and she pulled me to my feet; I wasn’t being very helpful by being dead weight. She smiled at me sweetly. I looked down at her, she was blurry since I didn’t have my glasses on but I could make out her expression. I could feel myself swaying on my feet.  

“You should go to school; I can take care of myself.” I mumbled a lie. I wasn’t able to take care of myself. I didn’t want too. I cringed when I heard the girly laugh from in front of me.

“Obviously you can’t.” She said sullenly. Peasnie guided me to the bathroom and sat me down on the edge of the tub, getting the shower ready. She made sure the water was warm and all the things were there for me to use. She left the bathroom and waited outside. I closed the door and locked it behind her. I undressed, tossing my clothes aside. My gaze ran up to the mirror where I saw a skinny strange guy standing there, you can see the weight loss I’ve had when you see me. I was already a skinny guy but this is insane. I sighed heavily and step inside the shower, letting the hot water run down my icy cold body. I’ve been left with so many thoughts that I didn’t want to think. I ignored them and concentrated on the hot water running down my icy cold limbs. I brushed my soggy hair from my face and let the warm water hit my face.

A gaping whole shot through my heart when I looked down to see the oldest tattoo I have sitting on my hip. The beautiful name scrolled across my bone nicely. It made me feel weak inside but I knew I should be strong for her. She needs me to be strong. I inhaled deeply and cleaned myself off. I jumped when there was a knock on the door.

“Don’t forget to wash behind your ears!” She yelled to me. I smiled and shook my head.

“Yeah-yeah.” I bellowed back to her. I did what she told me to do and washed behind my ears. I cleaned my whole body before shutting the water off and getting out. I wrapped a towel around my waist and dried off quickly. I shaved and brushed my teeth before getting dressed again, I just slipped on my slacks and left the room to see Peasnie sitting on the floor with her knees tucked into her chest. I knew my hair must be a state. Peasnie scrambled to her feet and led me to her room. It was neat but only as neat as a teenager can get. She sat me down at the end of her bed and started to dry and groom my hair. Peasnie set the hair brush down and sat beside me, her blue gaze aimed towards the floor. She furrowed her eye brows and sighed.

“Dad, I think I understand now.” She whispered softly and played with her thumbs. I squinted my gaze at her carefully wanting to know what she meant by that. I pulled my eye brows together curiously.

“You understand what?” I asked curiously. She bit her cheek before looking up at me with saddened blue eyes.

“How this world can over come a man, I guess bad things do happen to good people.” She replied softly. Amen to that, I didn’t do anything in this life that was bad or remotely bad and yet this happens. I’m losing everything I’ve ever cared for. I let my expression drop and my arm hook around her to pull the lean body into me for a hug.

“You’re only a kid, you shouldn’t have to understand.” I said in a gruff but kind voice. Peasnie looked up at me carefully and shook her head.

“I understand because I’m smart, street wise and book wise. I can see when people are hurting. And it hurts me to know that I can’t help them.” She whispered softly. Her voice was saddened with pain. I watched as she tightly closed her eyes, tiny crystals fell down her face. Her eyes opened and she looked up at me with a glassy gaze.

“Did I ruin everything for you?” She asked the stupidest question ever. It was so dumb of her to even think that. I couldn’t keep the pain from reaching the surface, I became emotional. I felt my lower lip quiver into a frown while a few tears streamed down my cheeks. I tightened my arms around her and swallowed the pain. She bit her lip nervously.

“You,” I trailed off slightly. “Peasnie, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me. I love you with every ounce of my existence. I don’t care if I was fourteen or forty; you are the best thing to happen to this world. You can change the way people see things. You’re going to go far kid. If anything you made my life better.” I said with the largest amount of pride in my voice. I was so proud of Peasnie. She’s my everything. I watched as she cried tears of joy.

“You love me that much?” She asked curiously. I shook my head.

“No.” I said with a flat tone. Her happiness dropped down into sorrow.

“I love you more than that.” I knew then that the only way I can get better was if I got better. I needed to make myself better, I needed to see everyday like it was the day I had Peasnie, the happiest day of my life. My emotions have been M.I.A for far too long. I’ve been M.I.A for too long.