Fiction.

Chapter 44: Merry Christmas. Part 1.

Chapter 44: Merry Christmas. Part 1.

I didn’t sleep last night; there are too many things that kept me awake. I went to Wal-Mart at about two this morning and got Peasnie a stocking with some little presents. I thought instead of making her wait all morning for her presents. So I went out and bought her some makeup and hair stuff, like hair extensions and dye. I wanted to get her some fancy girl stuff but then the only fancy girl stuff there was laced bras and the type of under wear that gets thrown at us at our shows. I certainly don’t want my daughter to be wearing that. I can’t see how dads allow their daughters to do that. I wouldn’t expect Peasnie to do that if she were at a rock concert.

I sat at the piano playing some stuff, I some times forget that I’m not the only one in the house but if Peasnie is anything like me, she’ll sleep without any problem. I don’t sleep a lot but when I do I sleep like a rock. I was surrounded by beer bottles and an ash tray full of cigarette buds.

I’ve been writing lyrics and other shit all night. It’s quit relaxing to be honest. I’ve even ‘borrowed’ Peasnie’s song book. I went into her book bag and got it, she has full trust in me to not do that and yet me being a good dad I do, do that, if that makes any sense? I know Peasnie trusts me to not go through her things but I like keeping up with the teenage girl. Like I know she and Connor are falling apart slightly. She’s losing interest in him; remind me to call Arin after the holidays.

I looked through the song book and stopped at the latest song or poem. It caught my eye instantly.

Keep running, don’t look back.

Leave the ghosts in the past.

I knew nothing but pure pain, like dancing in the acid rain.

My lungs are filling and filling fast,

They’re filling up with broken glass.

My soul is lost with weeping cries.

Haunting smiles make us drop like flies.

Don’t let me go in the night.

My hands are tied. I’ve lost the fight.

My pain is gone, it feels so right.

I need you to know its better here.

So don’t you dare shed a tear.

Don’t cry for me, remember the good.

Don’t let them see your greatest fear.

My hands are tied, I’ve lost the fight.

It feels so right; don’t be afraid to walk the night.

I swallowed hard at the deepening song. She has always been a little poet; she can always make what she’s feeling into something beautifully ugly. I put the note book under my seat and went back to work on my own stuff.

I sat with the note pad in my lap, a pen between my teeth. I wrote down the lyrics that came to mind. I played what suited the lyrics. Its semi dark but very meaningful, the fans will love it. I even have a title for it already; Fiction. I don’t know why the lyrics are like this but it’s different. I know the lyrics are deep and the sound is a bit different from what I’m used too. In a way it’s like Peasnie’s song, it’s dark and it comes from deep down inside you all that angry and hurt, the pain just flows onto the paper and then it makes you feel better.

“Now I think I understand; how this world can overcome a man.” I whispered the lyrics to myself as I played. I was exhausted and my back ached; I’ve been sitting at the piano since about three this morning. I put the note pad and pen onto the piano and pulled my arms behind my back, relaxing my back and stretching my arms. I groaned loudly and rubbed my neck. I got up from the piano and made my way up stairs. I went directly to the fridge and got another beer.