Fiction.

Chapter 10: Arrow through the Heart.

Chapter 10: Arrow through the Heart.

I sat in the back seat with Peasnie. She was wide awake and looking around. I loved the way her blue eyes shined in the grey light. She looked so beautiful and at the same time she looked badass, in her little leather jacket and black Metallica hoodie. She wore a little winter hat and baby boots. I covered her in a blanket as she sat in the car seat with wide eyes. She sucked on the pink soother that I plugged into her mouth just before we left. My dad drove down the streets with music playing quietly. She seemed to be enjoying the ride; she looked out the windows and cooed loudly. It was like she was singing along to the music, proud moment right here, especially when I’m a musician.

“So are you guys getting her baptised?” He asked a very good question. I wanted to get her baptised but Rosie is from a slightly different religion, so I’m not sure about her. I swallowed hard and stroked the baby’s cheek softly with a small smile.

“I’m not sure. I want to get her baptised but Rosie has to have a say in this as well.” I replied calmly. I was actually freaking out inside, I’m no longer at the hospital. I don’t have nurses to help me when I need it. They can’t tell me what’s wrong with her. For the next week or so, I have to figure things out by myself.

“I know Rosie is from a Latin family and that’s okay but I do want my granddaughter to be baptised.” He added to his question. I nodded in agreement.

“I want Peasnie to have the Latin culture but I also want her to have some of our culture too.” I said sullenly. I watched as my dad nodded. Rosie is full Latino and I’m a full American therefore Peasnie is a Latin-American. And it’s only fair she gets a taste of both cultures. I won’t be mad at her if she wants to go to Mexico in the summer with her mom to visit her mom’s side of the family. I won’t be mad if she speaks more Spanish than English, that’s a decision she makes. But there is one cultural aspect of her life that I’m demanding she has done and that’s being baptised. I sighed slightly, wanting to change the topic.

“What time did Rosie leave this morning?” I asked. Dad looked at me through the rear view mirror. He sighed heavily and rubbed the side of his face with the palm of his hand. My parents didn’t like Rosie at all but they absolutely loved Peasnie. They say when Peasnie is my age; she’ll be a beautiful girl. My parents never liked Rosie, not at all. They were disappointed in me when I told them about Peasnie. I’ve been educated on all this stuff and they’ve talked to me about it but I didn’t listen. I didn’t think I was old enough to be a dad. I was so naive.

“The nurses say she left just after six this morning but they didn’t want to wake you so they just let you sleep.” Dad uttered back at me. I nodded and looked out the window with a small frown. She left just like that? She didn’t even wake me up to say Good-Bye. I was hurt a little bit by that. She could’ve woken me up to say Good-Bye. I wouldn’t have minded.

“Jim, don’t be too broken up about her leaving without saying Good-Bye.” Dad said sullenly. I frowned into my sleeve and sighed deeply, looking down at the baby girl who was looking everywhere. I could see she was kicking under the blanket. She’ll be sporty as well.

“I try not too but I can’t help it.” I muttered.

“Son, if you keep allowing yourself to fall for this girl, she’ll leave you with heartache.”

“You’re young, just because you’re a parent doesn’t mean you can’t still date and be a teenage boy.” He added. I groaned loudly and rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to be a teenage boy, I wanted Rosie. She is all I want, all I need.

I sighed heavily as we pulled up into the drive way. I could see my friends in the living room window, waiting for me. I smiled widely and got out of the car, the car seat was in my hands. My dad got the bag and walked in front of me up the path. The March air was chilling to the bones but when the warm air from the house settled on my skin I felt welcomed and at peace. The guys instantly came over to greet us. I knew their moms were here as well because I could hear them talking to my mom in the kitchen.

I set the car seat down on the wood coffee table and took off my jacket. Everybody gathered around her, I could tell she was slightly freaked out. Her eyes were wide and a horrified expression crossed her face. I picked her out of the car seat and stripped the jacket off her. The guys wanted to hold her already but she still had the little boots on her feet. By the time I got her winter clothes off Matt’s mom had Peasnie in her arms. She smiled down at Peasnie and brushed the bridge of Peasnie’s nose.

“Obviously your dad’s face is genetic.” Mrs Sanders said sweetly. I smiled brightly and nodded.

“Yeah, she does look like my dad which is worrying because she might be just like her mom.” I admitted with a joking tone. Everybody laughed sweetly. But that did actually worry me; if she looks like me then she’ll act like her mom. And her mom is such a handful. For some reason I feel sorry for this kid, she looks like me and I look intimidating, and her mom is intimidating personality wise. I know whoever falls for my daughter will have a field day with her. But for now that doesn’t matter, it’s really nice to know that there are people in this world that are willing to be my family even though I’m a dad at fourteen. It’s scary to know that before I turn thirty, she’ll be a teenager. She’ll be seventeen when I’m thirty. If she’s a good kid, I’ll be a granddad before I’m fifty and I’ll have a son-in-law. That’s honestly the scariest thing about life, aging and quickly at that. It’s a horrible feeling knowing that my daughter is only fourteen years younger; if it was a sister then it wouldn’t be so bad. But it’s my daughter who is only just over ten years younger than me. She’ll be starting school when I’m graduating.

I took the little girl from Brian’s mom and showed her around the house. The guys followed behind me, first stop; drum set. I walked into the garage which was surprisingly warm.  I smiled as I sat down behind the drum set; I held her hands out and tapped the drums slightly. She squealed loudly when I hit the bass drum lightly. The guys laughed loudly along with me. Her reaction was the best thing in the world. She was so cute when she laughed loudly. I put a wood drum stick in her hands and let her hit the drums loosely.

“I can see her taking in her dad’s footsteps and becoming a drummer.” Zack muttered softly. I smiled and blushed slightly. I shook my head with a shrug.

“I don’t care what she does. As long as she’s happy.” I replied with a quiet tone.

“Bull shit, we all know you secretly want her to take after you in more ways than one.”Matt said with a joking tone. I shook my head in denial, even though I did want her to get into music. I wanted her to be a drummer so we can have some things in common. I wanted to have something to do with her, just me and her, father, daughter bonding.

“Okay, then why are you letting her play your drums right now?” Brian questioned being a smart ass. I groaned and rolled my eyes. Quick, come up with a bull shit answer so they don’t corner you.

“I’m letting her get fermilure with the sound.” I replied sullenly. The guys laughed hardily at me and shook their heads.

“Sure, dude.” Zack muttered at me in a joking tone. I let Peasnie investigate the drums a little more; I tapped the symbols lightly and did a small riff. She enjoyed it so much. I’m glad she likes the drums, when she gets older I’ll teach her how to play all sorts of instruments. I really do want her to get into music. I’m already in a band with my friends, right now it’s only me, Matt, Zacky and our friend Matt Wendt. Brian and I have talked about him joining too but he doesn’t think he’s good enough. So I’m going to let him build some confidence in himself before telling the guys that Brian might want to join. Matt Wendt is a close friend of mine but he’s usually really busy so I very rarely see him. He’s only fourteen after all and his parents think I’m a bad role model. I don’t care. I see him at school, which I go back to next week. My mom says she’ll watch Peasnie when I’m at school. She’s letting me study and stuff so I can get my diploma.

I carried the little girl back into the house and put her in the little bouncy chair and sat down with the guys. It was nice to just sit down and relax and watch some TV with my friends. I got a Rootbeer from the fridge and was finally able to relax on the couch. We all decided to watch Jacob’s ladder and relax. I know it’s probably not a smart idea to watch this twisted movie with an infant at my feet but by now she was fast asleep. I could get used to this, I have to.