To let go of all the bad shit in my life, or anything for that matter? Because I can never seem to let go of anything in life and I have no clue why. I had crappy friends that I stopped being friends with and yet they are still in my life I still give them opportunities, like what the fuck? But last night I realized this isn't the life I want for myself. I want to be happy, have good friends, I want to be in love and be with someone who loves me. But I ruin that for myself. I met this cool guy and because I just assume that he's a liar among many other negative things I pushed him away. Since the day I met him I told him I didn't want to be in a relationship that I wanted to be single. And he truly is a gentleman, very respectful and understanding and funny and he likes me and accepts me I guess. And I don't know if I could ever care about him much less even love him. But I feel so comfortable with him and it's strange I trust him probably more than I should and I don't know why. Most people annoy me and for some reason he doesn't annoy me I enjoy every second I spend with him. And I don't know what to do we don't talk as much because life happens he's busy and I have my own life. I want my mom out of my life but it's so hard to do that, there are times when I'm so ready to cut her out. But then when it comes to actually doing so I can't go through with it. But I'm tired of all this crap so I'm going to stop talking to my mom for awhile and to this new guy. Just to give myself some time and some space, and just go from there. I'm still lost and confused as hell so good luck to me I guess...
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The things I think of when I'm alone
PoetryUnbearable pain that is expressed and acknowledged becomes bearable. But people who have suffered from BPD received no such responses in their childhood. Therefore, they are stuck in the past, trying to elicit what they needed as a child-validation...
