I can feel it in the back of my throat. I'm going to throw up. I need to face the consequences. I present today and I need to face it. I can't run. I'll probably throw up soon. I called a suicide hotline yesterday. Never done that before. While I was getting connected, they played a jingle. I thought how odd it would be for someone holding a gun to their head or on the top floor of a parking garage to hear. She sounded for mechanical and subdued. To be fair to her, I imagine they need to find a balance. Be too "friendly" and you might come off as fake and upset the caller. Don't talk at all and you upset the caller. I mean how do you talk to someone who desperately wants to end their life? I guess the fact that you volunteer says enough. Either way, I didn't feel all that better after. It's fine I guess. I just needed to hear someone, which I got.
YOU ARE READING
The things I think of when I'm alone
PoetryUnbearable pain that is expressed and acknowledged becomes bearable. But people who have suffered from BPD received no such responses in their childhood. Therefore, they are stuck in the past, trying to elicit what they needed as a child-validation...
