omega (✔️)

[72]

[72]

[Jimin]
   
My eyes were focused on Taehyung's chest that was moving up and down in slow, steady movements. My head was snugly fit into the crease between his chest and the fleshy part of his upper arm.Soft snores sounded from his lips and he was so peaceful that he looked like a serene painting.
 
Taehyung and I had headed to the bed to sleep around three hours ago but my body felt completely hollow. Empty even. No warm blood running through my veins, no thoughts running through my head. Slowly lifting up my heavy body, I stared at the wall with a blank look. What do I do? What do I do to make this heaviness go away?
 
I couldn't think of anything so I stood up from the fluffy sheets and put on my shoes, wanting to take a short walk to collect my thoughts.

[Jin]

"Hey, you wanna grab some dinner with me next Friday?" A random man with a drunken expression hiccuped, holding a cold beer in his right hand.

I smiled awkwardly, "Um, I'm full."

His face twisted up in perplexity, "Full? I said next Friday."

I nodded, handing a woman in a pantsuit the small margarita that she had order a few minutes prior, "Yeah, I'm gonna be full that day."

The man had a straight laced face for a few seconds before bursting out into a huge laughing fit, gaining the attention of plenty in my bar who were just minding their own business, "You're playing hard to get, eh? I'll play."

I rolled my eyes inwardly, this man annoying me to no end, "No, I'm just not up for dinner with you, sorry."

I saw that he had small, yellow droplets of alcohol in his beard and I almost threw up. I don't even know when exactly he had came in here, but he's the only reason why I've been open since yesterday morning, "I just thought we could get to know each other since you're pretty cute and—"

"Pretty cute? Pretty cute? I'm a fucking Greek god and if you're not going to appreciate that, then forget me ever even looking at you." I retorted with my eyes in slits and he flinched back in response which applauded my inner bitch.
    
He scoffed and sneered at me before kindly standing up and leaving my calm bar. I smiled at my success but then frowned with my eyes closed as I realized that I just lost a customer, "Great, Jin, just great."

The bell on the door dinged, "Welcome- Jimin?"

There stood a tired Jimin, his arms drooping to his sides and his face pale. I ran to him, grabbing his upper arms, "What happened, Chim?"
  
He had a blank stare on his face, not even looking me in the eyes, "Jimin, please?"

He wouldn't budge so I just stared at him pitifully before grabbing his hand and bringing him to the bar. We both sat down in bar stools, facing each other. I tried my best to connect our eyes but his were aimed at the floor in a sharp glare. It's like he didn't know I was here.
 
"Jimin!" I exclaimed a little louder. I didn't want to bother my customers but I needed him to snap out of it. He jolted and looked up at me, his doe-like eyes coming back.
 
"Jin?" He asked, his eyes frantically looking around.
 
"What brought you here, Jimin?" I asked as I put a hand on his lower thigh for reassurance.

He blinked a few times before his expression went dark for a moment, only a moment, but I caught it and grasped how deep the situation was. He had a cold air around him, an uncomfortable air that seemed to freeze my skin. It was a familiar air.. I had it once and only once.

"Tell me." I forced out with a tone of urgency because if this is what I think it is, this might be really serious.

He looked up at me once more, "I think I'm breaking down, Jin,"

I stayed quiet so he could finish, "I've never felt so hollow and empty before."

"Is this because of that girl? Or.." I cleared my throat, knowing these topics are very sensitive, "your mother?"
 
He shook his head sorrowfully and let his hands fall in between his thighs, "No.. and I feel awful because I'm not mourning. I can't even cry because of it anymore."

I rubbed his shoulder, "This means that you're accepting it, this is good for you."

He shook his head even more violently, "No..! That's not good. It's been just a few days since Byeol died and I can't think of anything other than him!"

Him?

"I feel so empty and broken when his arms aren't around me, Jin, like a glass doll." He looked at the palms of his hands with grand emotions of confusion and ultimate sadness, "And when I realized that he doesn't need me... it killed me. He still makes me smile, even though he's the reason for my suffering. I'm so confused, Jin."
  
I would've expected him to cry, or sob, but he just looked genuinely upset and confused, "Who is 'him'?"
  
He stiffened, "W-What?"

"Who is this guy you're talking about? It doesn't sound like Taehyung because we both know he loves you with his entire being." I restated with annoyance, this situation becoming even more familiar with every second passing.

"It's Jungkook," he muttered lowly, like it was a secret that needed to be kept.

My eyes widened and my lips parted slightly in utter shock, "J-Jungkook..? Like Jeon Jungkook?"

He nodded, his puffy cheeks jiggling slightly, "I have no idea what's going on."

"What about Tae?" I asked with my eyes bulging out of my head.

He shrugged his shoulders with a painful expression, "I don't know.. I still love him, I love him so much.. but.."

"You love Jungkook more." I answered for him.

He nodded and I saw tears forming in his eyes. He refused to blink, to let them fall. Now I know why this situation so familiar. The exact same thing happened to me. My hand caressed the back of my neck and I felt the crevices in my skin where my so called "mate" had forcefully sunken his teeth in.
  
"What do I do, Jin?" He hiccuped and bit his bottom lip to stop his cries from surfacing.
 
"Follow what your heart tells you," I say immediately, wanting Jimin to be as happy as he can be.
     
"I-I want to.. I really do.." he said, burying his face in his palms, "but then I think about Taehyung, and how much he loves me.. and I can't."
  
I was quiet, not knowing what to say. This is almost identical to what happened to me. 

"Jin, help me please.." he pleaded, releasing his face from his hands and looked at me with his red eyes, "I don't know what to do because I know in my heart that I don't love him."

"Then leave him." I offered.

"I can't." He cried, his voice breaking along with my heart.

"Why not? You said you don't love him! Why hurt him even more by allowing him to believe you do?!"

"I just can't."

"Why would you—?!"

"BECAUSE I'M TERRIFIED THAT NO ONE ELSE IS EVER GONNA LOVE ME!"
 
[author's notes]
 
😪

well I love you Jimin so chill tf out.