Wonderwall

31|

•Wonderwall•

"I hear 'em whisper
I should leave but I don't listen.
They don't know this, they ain't been in my position."
-Boys like you, tanerèlle

—R o s e

I piled the dirty laundry messily over one another, packing them up in the basket. A heavily sigh escaped me, feeling stress endure me and overthinking consume me.

My mind was on war, having a constant battle—of a war I had no control over nor the solution of it too.

I distracted myself, constantly. The urge to do some chores was constantly there and maybe that was a sign that I need a distraction, something to lift the huge weight sitting on me.

Three days—three days of no physical contact had passed by. I avoided Grayson at all costs, at least to try and get my thoughts sorted up and together.

The worst part of it all—he didn't make any effort to see me too.

It was one of those days again. The days where he got the space he needed and wanted every once in a while because that's the little tiny things you have to endure with when you're with someone like Grayson.

Space, something he's used to. Closeness, something he isn't.

I contacted Ethan as he said that Grayson has been spending a lot of time in his own studio focusing on his art. It gladdened me in a way because maybe we both needed distractions, we both had issues—something we're running away from.

Maybe we both needed to take time off and focus on our ourselves and our passions.

Maybe being with him isn't the answer. Maybe I'm not capable of diminishing the darkness within him.

It wasn't just negative thoughts piling up in my head—it was reality. Grayson keeping a huge yet simple thing hidden from me meant no progress.

He never once mentioned the topic of another female being a serious factor in his life. A female that could have affected him or had the potential to be something more.

He claimed he never dated before. Noah's accidental slipped words claimed otherwise.

It was too much to handle. At one point, my mind felt on an edge of explosion dropping everything in my hands and drifting off into the comfort of my bed.

I laid down, staring into nothingness. Seemingly as time passed, the more obstacles I faced. My hands had found my phone wanting to disperse every chaotic thought. I scrolled to pass time, hoping it'll help.

Feeling my eyes gradually close due to tiredness starting to endure them late in the afternoon, my phone vibrated in my hands making them shot open.

An incoming FaceTime call was displayed on my screen as the contact—Gray— came in my vision. I didn't have enough energy to talk at that exact moment. I didn't feel like faking my messed up emotions, acting happy and enthusiastic about the fact that I was talking to him.

My fingers instantly went to the message bar, searching for a yet another excuse of why I couldn't pick up.

I'm a little busy right now gray,
I'll talk to you later.