Wonderwall

25|

•Wonderwall•

"I never believed that beauty could exist in self destruction, then I saw you"
—

—R o s e

I twisted the door knob with careful hands, peaking my head into Grayson's room just as I arrived into their residence. He laid there peacefully sound asleep with slightly parted lips as I took a minute to admire how beautiful of a man he was.

His slight snores never sounded anymore adorable. He looked innocent for once, getting occupied with a glow across his face— something I barely saw for he was unconscious and so was his thoughts, so was his demons.

They were sleeping, having no ounce of control over him. That's why he looked untroubled without a bother whatsoever.

I often wondered how he sleeps late at night. Letting my mind wander towards the thoughts that may occupy him once he lays his head on the pillow. What do they tell him?

I forced myself out of my trance as I paid attention towards his tucked arms that were shoved into his chest indicating that he was somewhat cold.

I was quick to grab a spare blanket hanging around his closet room, settling it on his chilly body.

I found myself admiring his sleep-full state with a weak smile on. It'd be a lie to say that I didn't miss him these past three days.

We didn't get to see each other, only communicated through text and FaceTime. I gave him space and he looked like he needed it for he's always having an inner war with his mind, with his own self and sometimes he needed to be alone.

My heart fluttered at his sight making all sort of mixed emotions to erupt inside of me. I didn't know if they were all good but I knew they had a tint of butterflies swarming around in the pit of my stomach

Imagine waking to this everyday. Loose ruffled hair meeting your view, hazel puffy eyes being the first thing to greet you in the mornings as they stared into your orbs affecting you ever so badly.

A voice so dominant and husky flowing around your ears, his bare figure engulfing you in his two buff arms providing you not only security but a blissful morning also— something I didn't yet experience because he couldn't dare stay that night.

I don't think I'm ready to offer him myself again after that incident. I was now captivated by fear—the fear of him leaving once again.

I don't want to endure that agony again, the feeling of disappointment that was so powerful that it physically weighed me down. Until I'm sure he's here to stay, I'll be gladly letting go of this fear

But for now, we take things slow.

I shook off my head slightly as if trying to disperse my overwhelming thoughts outside, getting rid of them. With one last glance, I placed a delicate kiss on the flesh of his cheek before I exited the room quietly

Soon after, I found my footsteps riding me unconsciously along with my nosiness as I entered his studio.

I was always drawn into this particular room. It gravitated me as I felt like it hid a lot, being scattered all around with secrets and hidden messages like a trivia you have to unravel