When we first met . . .

Chapter 31🥀

"How's your boyfriend?" Alex asks.

"what?" Maya looks completely shocked.

"She went to visit her boyfriend, he was apparently out of town," Rachel says rolling her eyes.

"The one from a month ago?" She asks. "Yeah..."

I see the look on Maya's face and I can't ignore the ping of guilt I feel in my stomach. I have to tell her. "Can I talk with you for a sec?" I ask Maya directly.

"Sure" She agrees to walk with me outside. "We'll be right back," I inform Alex and Rachel. We both walk out of the room in awkward silence. We go and sit at the park next to the shop like we used to do.

I take a deep breath. I have to tell her. I can't keep this from her. I know I told Ben I won't tell. But I have to.

"Ok... so I wanted to say that I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you lately. I am still a bit mad about the whole Darren thing... but I'm over it now. I thought about it a lot and I'm really sorry I was so mad at you. He really isn't worth us fighting over. I miss you, it feels like we haven't talked for a year." I tell her honestly but I know I'm stalling. I'm the worst person ever.

She looks at me, blinking a couple of times and she throws her arms at me giving me a hug and I think she is crying.

"I missed you so much. We were best friends for god's sake. How did we let a guy come between us? I'm so sorry." She whimpers. I hug her back.

"Ok, look I need to tell you something," I say pulling her away from me. I have to tell her. I can't keep secrets anymore. There is so much going on, I can't keep hiding things. She is my best friend and nothing will change the fact that I care about her more than anything. I just hope she won't be hurt I didn't tell her right away. But it's only been what 2 hours?

"Ok.... what is it? Is everything ok??" She whips her tears with her long sleeve.

"Yeah.. yeah... It's fine I just..." How will I tell her? "Lili? What is happening you're scaring me a bit."

I don't say anything. I'm at a complete loss of words. "What is it? What happened?" I look at her wanting to tell her, her phone vibrates and she takes it out reading the text I assume she just received 

"OMG listen to this." She shoves her phone to my face and before the screen is clear and I can see whatever she wants me to see, she reads it out loud. " 'Shawn Mendes was caught with a mystery girl at a trampoline house last month' Omg it was 3 or 4 days after the concert. Oh my god. Do you think it was here?"

"What? Show me that?!" I take her phone and I look at the screen, "Oh my god" there are pictures of us jumping and dancing... you can't really see my face because there is hair all over, from the jumping but holy shit. How were there even photos taken? Didn't we have the whole place to ourselves? This is scary.

"Where did you find this?" I ask her shocked.

"Alex just sent me this. I can't believe he has a girlfriend. Wait do you think it's his girlfriend? It's hard to imagine him with a girl... going around tour with her... I can't even imagine" she says.

"What why are you saying that?" What if I told you it was me? I shake my head at that thought.

"I don't know... he was never with a girl out in public before... They probably are dating for a long time if he took out in public... he must love her" she says sighing, sounding jealous.

"Yeah right," I let out a nervous laugh. oh fuck.

"I wonder who she is... does that look like a model to you? She looks so ordinary... what did Shawn even find in her? I mean, I look so much better than she does" she says.

"Uh... What is happening?" Why is she so mean? Can't she see it's clearly me? It's only a matter of time before someone will figure it out. "I mean, look at her. She looks like a regular person. I thought he will be with a supermodel or something... or with an actress or a singer. What did he find in this girl? What is so special about her?" what the actual fuck, Maya?

"Maybe she... is super nice and sweet. You don't have to judge her over nothing" Why am I so defensive over this? Maybe because it's me? Of course, I'll be defensive, he is talking trash about me.

"Oh come on. The Mendes army will find who this girl is in like 3 seconds and they will hate on her so bad they will break up in 2 minutes. I just, don't get why he would go with this girl... I mean.. why couldn't he be with me?" she says sarcastically. I hope. "I mean.. seriously he knows none of his fans will approve her... Like, look at her, I wish we could go again to his concert and see him." Is she serious? Does he know his fans won't approve? Was this all a part of his plan?

"Wait what is the Mendes army?" I ask.

"Oh my god." She says realizing something. "I forgot you hate Shawn.... sorry I bothered you with this crap... Let's move on. So what did you want to tell me?"

"Wait. I don't hate Shawn. I had a really good time at the concert. It was really fun"

"Lili, It's fine... You don't have to lie to me. I remember how much you didn't want to go to the concert and every time we would say his name you would get super angry and bitchy. It's fine. Let's just move on"

"Maya I just want to know what is the Mendes army..." my voice louder than I intended it to be.

"Ok," she says and I think she is hurt. Not sure about it though. "It's the name of his fans.. like when you are a huge fan of a person you have a name. Like... uh... oh do you remember Grace..? from middle school? She was a Lovatix which means a Demi Lovato fan. And for Shawn there is the Mendes army.. also I know that Charlie Puth fans Are called the CPF. Charlie Puth fam. it's just basically how you're called when you are a huge fan of a person or a band." She explains.

"Ok so the Mendes army is gonna hate m-" I fake cough realizing what I have just done. "this.. girl? why?" I ask

"Well... I think most of the Mendes army are girls that love him and support him and they aren't going to think this girl here is enough. I think because she doesn't look like a supermodel then the fans will get irritated, that he chose one of us you know?" Excuse me, what?