When we first met . . .

Chapter 68🥀

"What?" Shawn moves the huge ice bag from his head with my hand on it. "You love me?" He asks and tears are filling his eyes.

"Yes. You know that. You know how I feel, I know I'm going way to fast again with the whole I love you thing, but that's how I truly feel. I love you, Shawn" I say.

He stares at me for a long moment before pushing my hand from his face and pulling my body close to him kissing me so passionately. I let him take me. I kiss him back craving his forgiveness. I can't believe the way I acted. How could I be so stupid? "Ok, Wait." He moves his head to the side. I stare at him, hoping he won't push me away, tell me to leave.

"I never really told anyone about what happened between Justin and me before. I mean, I did tell my sister, I tell her everything. But I feel like you should know. I don't want to keep any secrets from you." Oh.

"Shawn if you don't want to tell me you don't have to. I don't need to know." I say putting the bag of ice on his face again.

"No no, I want to. Come in." he takes my hand pulling me inside his hotel room. I sit on the couch next to him.

"About a year ago I was secretly dating Hailey Baldwin." I gasp, I had no idea. "I mean, Bieber. She was Baldwin when we dated. And no one really knew about it..."

"Ok, so what happened?" I asked curious to know. Why did they break up?

"She met Justin, he stole her away from me. She broke up with me and she started to date him, of course, Justin didn't know I was with her before him, So when I tried to talk to her after what happened he got really mad at me, he thought I was trying to take her away from him, which I didn't. I just wanted to talk to her and go back to be friends with her because she stopped talking to me the moment Justin walked into her life and she is really, amazing. And a good friend. I didn't want to lose that, what he had. " He says and sighs.

"So that's it? He was mad at you?" I ask. "Well fuck him," I say now furious.

"He proposed to her, she said yes and now they are married. She is still not talking to me, Justin still doesn't really know about what happened between us, and I think that if he knew.... he would probably be even madder. So yeah. Justin and I aren't really friends anymore. He thinks I'm in love with his girlfr- I mean, wife" he says.

"Well, are you?" I can't help but ask. He didn't say it back.

"No. Of course not. But Justin thinks I'm still in love with Hailey." He says. Still in love? So does that mean he was in love with her? My heart shutters at that thought.

"Maybe that's why he kissed you, to make me jealous, to hurt me like he thinks I'm hurting him." I stare at him.

"Well, that's stupid. I can't believe he used me to hurt you. I'm sorry I was a part of this. And I'm sorry if I hurt you, in any kind of way" I suddenly have this urge to cry.

"I'm tired. I think I'm gonna go to sleep" he says going to the door and opening it for me. Is he pushing me away? Tears swell up in my eyes, and I try to fight them back in.

"Goodnight," He says. I walk up to him, looking at him not understanding what the fuck happened tonight. He looks down, taking the ice bag I was still holding, from my hand and placing it on his bruise.

"Wait, you want me to leave?" I ask still finding it hard to believe. I don't want to leave. I want to stay with him. I know I fucked up.

"Yeah... I'm sorry I'm just really tired. And I need to think about some stuff" he says.

"Ok. Good night" I say too fast storming out of his room, I feel my blood boiling, it feels way too hot, it's like I'm burning and I think might still be a bit tipsy from all that I drank earlier. I know I hurt him. But I said I was sorry, and for my defense, I thought he kissed Camila when Justin kissed me. I was hurt. I know I messed up, but like.... dude. I didn't mean it. And it's not like I kissed him, he totally kissed me. I was drunk. Am I still?

I sighed as I walked into my room after a few moments of me trying to enter the room but the key didn't feel like it.

I saw my phone buzzing just as I laid down on my bed, answering the call. "Hello?"

"Hi, where are you? Is Shawn with you? Is he ok?" Camila says loudly over the loud music in the background.

"Yes. We are both fine, Shawn isn't feeling the best, he is resting I think he said he was tired."

"Oh, And you? Are you tired? If you want to come back and dance a little more and have fun you are more than welcome." She offers.

"Really?" I ask surprised not excepting that. "Yes of course"

Should I? I mean I did fly all the way here for this party. I can't stay in my room. "Ok. I'm on my way" I hang up before I change my mind.

Shawn is already in a bad mood. Why do I need to be in one too? I came here for this party, and I am going to be there and have fun.

I didn't know about what happened between him and Hailey but, come on, we are in a relationship now,(I hope) he moved on,(I hope) So what if I kissed Justin, we both know it meant nothing to me. If I can't be with him tonight, I won't just stay sad and moody in bed, I'll go out have fun. And is there really any better place than at a party?

I go back to the Lobby and order me a cab.