When we first met . . .

Chapter 44🥀 - flashback part 1

~ Flashback: Continuation of Chapter 42 ~

Shawn and I both woke up in my really small and tight bed the next day. I looked around and Alex and Rachel weren't in the room. I exhale. Thankful that they're not in the room. I got off the bed, and walk to the bathroom opening the first drawer to get out some toothpaste but instead, I see the box of condoms from last night, I smile as I memories from last night of how awarded it was When Rachel came in here asking me about the condoms. I ignore it shaking my head taking out the toothpaste and brush my teeth.

I look at myself in the mirror. I look at my stomach. I'm pregnant. I remember it all now. All the conversations I had with Shawn and the pharmacist.

I walk out of the bathroom to see Alex and Rachel sitting on the couch just being on their phones.

"Hey," I say. "Hi," Alex says. Ok, so I guess they didn't notice Shawn spent the night here. Or else they would've screamed so hard. Or maybe they got back so wasted from the frat house they didn't even notice.

"Don't you guys have class?" I ask. "Uh.. yeah in an hour" Rachel answers. "Mt head is hurting like a bitch," Alex says. "Same" Rachel agrees.

"Ok I'm going back to bed," I say remembering Shawn is still here. And as I'm walking to the other room. "Hi.. good morning," I say climbing back to the bed. "mhmm..." He barely moves. Was it supposed to be so hot? Because it was.

"I'm going to the doctor. I made an appointment last night after you fell asleep..." he still doesn't answer.

"mhmm.." he does that same voice again. he is so adorable. "Hey." I snuggle into him kissing his lips in an attempt to wake him up. He pulls me closer to him, kissing me back without opening his eyes. "You need to get out of here. Before my friends notice you are here" I whisper.

"What time is?" He groans rubbing his eyes. His voice is raspy and deep. I approve.

"Uh..." I check my phone "8:30" I say.

"Shit. I have to go. I need to be at the set in an hour. Fuck" he says finally sitting down, his hair all messed up... "Hey. Babe Relax. You can't just walk out Alex and Rachel are here." I say. Did I just call him babe? I shrug it off.

"I really have to go. Where are my sunglasses?!" He says still sitting On the bed sounding half asleep.

"On the counter with your hat," I say. I hope the girls didn't notice his jacket as well. He climbs down the bed, now looking for his clothes. I hand them over to him from the bed.

"What am I going to tell Alex and Rachel?" I ask. Shawn isn't responding and he is putting his clothes on very quickly. "Oh shit, I didn't brush my teeth.. you don't care, right?" He kisses me. No. I don't. "I'm sorry" he smiles. "I don't know just tell them anything. I really have to go. I'll talk to you later. Love you" he says storming out of the room.

Hold up. Did he just...? Did he just say- No. He didn't right? I misheard it. Yeah. I misheard it.

I get out of the door and I see both Alex's and Rachel's faces frozen in shock. "Who was that?" Rachel asks. "Where the fuck did he come from?!" Alex asks.

I don't respond. What am I supposed to say? I look around the room trying to avoid their questions. Oh shoot, he forgot his Jacket.

"Shit, I'll be right back," I say and I take his coat running out the door.

I see him, "Are you working here?" I yell. Shawn turns around, I feel that was clever. I mentally pat myself on the back for that. He smirks at me, "What? Babe. I really need to go." He says. "You forgot your Jacket." I give it to him, "thank you" he kisses me again, taking his jacket from me. "Bye," he says pulling away, and he starts walking, does he even know the way out? I watch him for a few seconds when I realize he took the wrong turn. "Hey," I yell to get his attention. He turns around looking at me. "Wrong direction. Follow me" I say and I start walking the other direction... he smiles and he starts following me. We get to the parking lot in no time, and he walks in his car. "Bye. I'll see you tonight." He kisses me one last time through the car's window, and he drives off.

Maybe I have misheard him back at the dorm. He didn't say again. I watch as he drives away. Thanking god no one recognized him.

I walk back into the room with a stupid smile on my face. "What the fuck was that?" Alex asks. "Nothing..." I can't hide my smile. I go back to my room and I change into other clothes, regular clothes.

"Please tell us we are still drunk and that was not Shawn Mendes that walked out of here a few minutes ago," Alex says walking just as I finished to get dressed. "You're still drunk" I lie. Well, I do think they're still drunk, but not enough for this...

"Oh" She frowns, I pat her back before walking out of the door. "Oh and I'm taking your car I'm going to the doctor real quick," I say to her.

"Yeah ok," she says and I walk out with her car keys.

I'm at the doctor's office. Waiting to go in. Feeling my heart beating, feeling the fear, trying to overtake me.

The appointment goes well, not as I planned but the baby is ok. I was shocked at the doctor's words but it kind of makes sense I have to admit. I walk back to the car, I sit there and I know I have to tell Shawn about this. I'm Just terrified by his reaction.

"Hey babe what's up?" He answers the phone on the third ring. I can hear that he is busy. There are so many people talking in the background.

"I'll call you back later, I can hear you're busy," I say hoping he will let me off the hook and I won't have to tell him. I hate myself for putting him in this situation.

"No. Just one moment." He says and after a few seconds I no longer hear people in the background "Ok, talk to me."

"I was at the doctor," I say nervously.

"Ok first, please don't be mad" I beg.

"why would I be mad? What happened." He asks. I know for sure, that when I tell him, he will be mad. I am mad. Why wouldn't he be?

"Because... I'm 3 months pregnant" I whisper. It's been a few seconds and he isn't answering. "What?" He gasps as if he just heard it. "3 months? I didn't even know you existed 3 months ago." He is quiet again. Tears are filling my eyes. "How is this even possible?!" He asks clearly trying to control his emotions and not yell at me.

"It's probably from my ex-boyfriend" I feel so stupid and small. "Oh.." I hear on his broken voice, the sadness.

"I'm so sorry. I—" I start crying.

"Don't cry. It doesn't matter who is the father because you're having an abortion, right?" He asks.

Wait, what? "I'm not sure about that." I'm suddenly angry with his comment.

"What the fuck do you mean you're not sure about that?" Shawn got angry quickly.

"Shawn get your voice down. It's just that abortion is really expensive. And I think I need to talk to my ex about this... even though he is a total psycho..." Fuck me. I can't talk to him... I know I need to, but I can't talk to Darren he'll want to keep the baby, and does that mean Shawn and I are over? No. We can't be.

"Are you seriously thinking about keeping the baby?!" He asks calmly.

"I don't know what I'm thinking Shawn. This is so scary for me. I don't know what to do." I'm totally freaking out. I have no idea what is happening in my life anymore. Everything is just so messed up.

"You know what? I can't do this right now. I need to go. I'll talk to you,  whenever" he says.

"Wait, Shawn. When are you finishing today? We said I'll come over tonight and maybe you'll meet my dad." I say pushing the tears away.

"I don't know. I need to go." he hangs up and I break down.