When we first met . . .

Chapter 59🥀

As I watch him I realize, that every like 40 seconds he turns his head my way and gives me a look. Just smiling, while singing. Giving me a little glance as if to make sure I'm still here. He makes me feel so giddy. I want to just jump all over him, my lips still tingling from our kiss. He looks so happy. He is smiling and people are screaming and singing along. This is so magical. I took videos of him; in the few seconds, he wasn't watching me.

He is truly amazing. I want to remember this moment forever.

After the show is over confetti washes the crowed and he runs off stage, I go backstage to where I was just before the show started in an attempt to look for him, to tell him how amazing it was, and to thank him for bringing me here. But before I know what's happening, I am being pulled away pinched into the wall behind me.

I see his smile, he came for me.

My heart melts at that thought. That he came looking for me. His smiles grow even wider and his head leaning in as if asking for permission and in a second our lips are connected and his tongue is in my mouth, taking my breath away like he always did.

Wow.

He steps away. What just happened?

I look at Shawn and he just smiles his shy smile at me, all sweaty and gorgeous.

"Come on, we need to get out of here," He says completely ruining our moment. Or maybe saving it?

He grabs my hand and he runs dragging me after him. we run out of the building, when I look back, I see the other people we were sitting backstage also running.

Why are we even running? He takes me straight into the black Van we arrived with.

As we sit there, waiting for the rest of the people to come inside he explains what just happened.

"If we wait any longer than that, fans will get to us and won't let us leave."

So, every night at the and of the night he just runs off and walks away before the fan can get to him?

The whole ride everyone talks about the show, what was good, what wasn't the best. Shawn tells us a few things he heard people screaming at him, and he told us a few sighs he saw that made him almost laugh while singing.

We finally got to the hotel, it's been a longer drive than it was on the way to the stadium.

Shawn and I are walking with Andrew and 2 other guys, whom I don't know their names out of the car and into the elevator, it's almost midnight now but no one looks remotely tired.

Except for me.

Each person says his goodnight and goes to his room, on the same floor Shawn and I are, and now it's only Shawn and me.

"How was your night?" He asks as we walk through the hallway on the way to our rooms.

"It's was really fun. I never thought you have to go through so much every day. I mean, it was so long and it must've been so hard for you to be so nice to everyone and in the Q&A the questions they ask... I mean..."

"It's fine actually. I'm used to it. I go through that almost every day on tour. Today was also a shorter day, I already told you, I asked Andrew if we could squeeze it into fewer hours so I could spend some time with you when you arrived. But you know at the end of the day I just want my fans to be happy.. and I'm really happy you had fun too." He smiles.

"Yeah, I did. This whole day was just really incredible." Shawn is looking at me. I'm looking at him. Is he going to kiss me again?

I know I want to kiss him. But does he want to kiss me?

He leans in and then he whispers in my ear "goodnight" and he goes into his room.

I smile at no one in particular, at what a tease he is.

What the hell? He did that on purpose. I'm just standing there, waiting, wanting, needing. Why didn't he kiss me? Just to tease me

I walk a few rooms past him, wanting to just go in my room and take a shower. I take out my purse to walk in the room, but I can't find it. Is it possible I left without it?

I think I forgot about it inside the room. Shit.

I stand there frozen, not knowing what to do. After a few minutes of thinking about all the options I have, I decided to go down to the lobby to ask for another key after I knocked on Shawn's door, and he didn't reply.

I should just go to the Lobby and ask for a new key. It happens. People forget things. When I think about it, I don't really know anything. What If they ask for ID? I didn't get this room, I don't know on what name this room even is.

Let's just hope they won't ask any questions.

I look at the door to my room, remembering my room number, so I won't embarrass myself and walking to the elevator.

I wait for it to come, but before it does, I hear a door opening. Curiosity takes over me and I look around to see it might be.

It was Shawn, as I suspected. he is looking out of his room to the other side, where my room is. But I'm not there, so he turns around and now he sees me.

"Where are you going?" He whispers looking confused. I stay in place wanting to go over to him, but I hold myself. "I forgot the key to my room inside the room so I'm going to the lobby to get another key"

"Why did you suddenly open the door?" I ask before he says anything. Did he hear my knocking?

"I heard noises..." So, he did hear.

He shakes his head, "Come here" Standing aside making me room
To walk in. "What do you mean 'come here'?" walking his way as I wanted to do when I first found out I forgot the key.

"You can stay here tonight and tomorrow morning we'll go get you a new key. It's getting late. Just come on" He says. Should I? I don't think I should. I know that if I walk into his room, all memories will come back and I won't be able to stop myself from wanting new ones. With him.

So I stop myself. I can't stay the night with him.

"Shawm I'm-"

"I don't care, come on.."

I let go, I know I want this, more than I should. I walk into his room.