When we first met . . .

Chapter 20🥀

I'm on my bed. Slightly buzzed from the drinks I drank, Looking at the ceiling. Fuck it I'm calling him.

It ringing.
Again,
And again,
And again.

He isn't answering. Fuck. I hang up.

I take a deep breath and I decide to go back to the party. Before I even sit up Jeremy walks in and sits on the bed close to me.

"Hey, are you ok?" Jeremy asks me.

"Yeah... I'm fine" I say. Lately, I feel like I can't say anything without lying. I hate that feeling. I'm not ok, I have said I'm fine way too many times.

"I lied. I'm not fine." I say. I can't lie anymore. I want Shawn back.

"Do you want to go on a walk with me?" I ask finally sitting on the bed, my head spinning. All-day I was out. I can't stay here anymore. I need to getaway. To think.

"Yeah of course," he says.

"Thanks" I smile trying to get up. "But first I'll go change my clothes I've been walking like this all day I feel ridiculous," I say and we both giggle.

I change into something comfy, nothing fancy. Just some shorts and a black shirt.

It's getting a little dark outside.
It's already 10 p.m.

Jeremey and I go for a walk. We sit at the park, not on the grass. Jeremy wanted to sit on one of the benches.

What a weirdo.

"So what's up?" He asks.

"I don't know.. things are weird right now"

"Yeah... I know. what he fuck happened between Maya and Ben? He looks really devastated" he says. oh my god. I get it now. They broke up becomes Maya cheated on him.

"Yeah I just heard they broke up"

"What?! They broke up?!" Jeremey looks surprised. "I did not know that"

"What's up with you and Sophia?" I change the subject. My words are sounding weird to my ears. I don't get drunk very often.

"Oh, that.." why? What happened? Did they break up too? Oh my god. Everyone is breaking up.

"Oh my god," I say like a teenage girl. it feels weird listening to my own voice. "Why is everyone breaking up? I can't do this anymore"

"She didn't like the idea a girl was living with me. So she ended it."

"What a bitch." What is wrong with me? This is so unlike me.

"Yeah whatever" he sighs.

"So what's up with you?" Who's changing the subject now? "Any boys around? I saw you and Darren today, still thinking about him?"

"Oh god no!! Are you blind? Didn't you see how he acted to me? how stupid he is? " Never again, "I have a different guy in mind. But he kind of hates me right now. Things are complicated."

"Why what happened?"

"Well, we are sort of together.. but I'm not really sure what's happening after I kissed Michel today and I told Shawn about it and he hates me now. Pretty simple"

"who's is this guy? I didn't know you have a boyfriend. How come I never met him?"

"Shhh...." I put my finger on his lips. "it's a secret"

"what?"

"he's famous. You can't tell anyone." I whisper.

Jeremy's eyes are wide. I think he's frunk too because the next thing I know he throws up on the grass. "Oh shit!" I pat his back not knowing how to help him. if he was a girl I would hold his hair. But he's a boy with short hair so I really don't know how to help him.