When we first met . . .

Chapter 36🥀

I can't take it. "I'm out of here"

"Where are you going?" Rachel asks as I start walking away.

"I don't know" before I storm out, Alex stops me.

"We're sorry. This is shocking. we don't know how to react. I'm sorry. just, let's get drunk and watch the notebook" She says.

"Sorry, not in the mood. I'm taking your car" I inform her walking out of the door. As I sit in her car for a few minutes, just thinking if this was actually a good idea. Without being able to think clearly about this whole situation I decided driving over to Shawn... I really don't know where else to go.

20 something minutes later I'm at his hotel knocking on his door. "I'm coming, I'm coming" I hear him saying behind the closed door. He opens the door a few seconds later, looking surprised, shocked even, as he sees me. I stare at him, he is still wearing his black boxers from earlier... That's so hot. He is in the middle of chewing something and for a moment I think he might choke.

"Are you ok? What happened to girls' night?" He swallows whatever he ate. "Can I come in?" I ask. "Yes of course." he steps aside letting me through. "Are you ok?" He asks again. "hungry?" he asks.

I sit on the counter, looking at him as he closes the door walking closer to me. "I'm fine, not hungry, thank you," I say feeling sick just thinking about food. He walks over to the fridge taking out a bottle of water, "When I told them about us. They just got really mean and crazy and obsessive. And I'm really mad at them. They don't get that you are a normal person. They are so mean... I just-" words fail me. The nauseous feeling from before is back, and I feel sick to my stomach. "Oh my god" I run to the bathroom throwing up. What is up with me today? This is the second time in the past hour.

Shawn runs after me to the bathroom. holding my hair, "I'm fine." I move his hand from my hair. "Sorry I think It's something I ate." I slowly stand up, wash my face and my mouth.

I turn around to look at him, "Can I stay here tonight?" I ask, eyes wide.

"Of course you can." He says, his voice concerned. "Are you sure you are ok? Would you like me to make you some tea?" He asks helplessly. "Yes, I would love that. Thank you"

We both walk out of the bathroom after I flush the toilet and wash my face and my hands. I sit on the couch. Shawn is in the kitchen making me tea bringing it to me when he's done. He sits next to me, watching me carefully as I start to tell him about what happened with mt friends.

"Wait. They really asked you that?" He looks surprised. Ok, I regret telling him about that... maybe I shouldn't have told him. "Well, yeah. Those are my Friends..." I smile coyly. "They ask personal questions and they shove their noses where they don't belong."

"And What did you say?" He asks. "I didn't answer them... I told them that... you are amazing." I say.

He smiles at me giving me a kiss. "I really care about you. And I'm scared that when you go back on tour we will lose touch... I never felt this way about someone. Scared to lose them. I know this is scary and a little weird because we only know each other for a month or so. So here I am honest, telling you that I'm scared. I don't know what will happen when you leave in a few days."

"Hey... listen, maybe it is a bit early to discuss the future... but I don't care. I know that we're gonna be alright. And as soon as the tour is over... I'm gonna come here for a bit but then I think I'm gonna go home for a while... and If we're are still going to be together then I would want you to come with me." He says. Wait? What?

"What do you mean?" I ask confused.

"I'm gonna go back to Canada.. back to my family. Just for a while, after tour., And if everything will be the same and nothing will go wrong between us. I want you to come with me for a few months. Home." he says.

Wait, he lives In Canada..? oh my god. I didn't know that. I never thought about that, where he came from. "Who is Aaliyah?" I ask. "What?" He is confused by my question. "Earlier, you said you'll call Aaliyah and your parents.. to tell them about us, who is Aaliyah?" I ask. "Oh, um... she is my sister... I thought you knew that I thought I told you that, I'm sorry. I'm used to people to know everything about me. I should've told you." He says apologetically. "No. No. It's fine."

His fingers skim my chick and he pulls me close to him, and he kisses me. He lets me go looking me in the eyes and then down at his legs as if he's nervous. "I'm confused. This is..." I chuckle out of embarrassment. I can't even speak, I don't know what I'm thinking.

"What?" He asks, looks like he forgot what he just offered. "About Canada. I'm not sure... I-"

"Oh. I'm moving too quickly, aren't I? I'm sorry. I'm just trying to imagine what it will be for you and for me. without one another for about 3 months now. I'm gonna be moving practically every day and I'm not sure how much time I'll have to be on the phone. I just... wish you could come with me. It would've been so much easier." He says.

"You really believe that we will make it? that we will be together in the future? Do you really want to tell the world we're dating? Isn't it scary for you? What if we won't end up together? What will happen then?" I can't hide my concern.

"I don't care... all I know is that I feel the most alive I have ever been, in the past few weeks. Maybe it's because of the tour.. maybe it's you... I don't know. All I know is that I want you. And I'm not willing to give you up. A little tip from me to you... Sometimes you just have to take some risks."

I swallow "Ok."

"What do you mean ok?" He asks with a stupid grin on his face.

"I'll consider it. coming with you... home, I guess... to Canada when you get back. I wish I could go on tour with you but, I have collage... and I can't just stop my life. I need an education and to earn money, live my life.."

"Yeah... I know that." He smiles.

"It's just, I think we are moving a bit to fast. We know each other for a month. I don't want to get up my expectations so high. Let's talk about something else." He smiles as he takes my cup of tea out of my hands and puts it down on the table smirking at me before moving closer to kiss me.