When we first met . . .

Chapter 52🥀

It's 9:30 and I have a class at 10 so I quickly take a shower and I go to the shop. I buy myself a coffee and I go to class.

In the middle of the class, my phone vibrates and I'm getting some unpleasant stares from the kids around me. I look at my phone, It's Shawn. again. It's the fourth time since the night. Maybe something happened...

I mute to everyone 'sorry' before taking my stiff with me as I walk outside, sitting on the grass in the idle of campus.

I call him back when I feel confident enough to talk to him.

"Hey" he exhales. As if not expecting me to ever call him back. I'm feeling weird. I know he is famous and all and I should be thankful for even talking to him... but he is my ex. And of course, I still have feelings for him but I have to move on. I can't just stay like this forever. I need to move on and so does he. He needs to know that I am over him.

Sort of.

"Hi, what did you call? Is everything ok?" What is going on Shawn?
"Look, I really want you to come to the party," he says. What?

"What party?" I ask. What is he talking about? "The group Camila added you to yesterday?" He asks.

"Never mind so she is throwing a party next week... and she invited you, sort of. Look, I know you two have been texting," he says as if accusing me of talking to her. "And I really want to see you... I'll even buy you a plane ticket," he says. Wow, dude. Relax

"No," I state. He can't do that. "Shawn I don't think that's a good idea," I say. "Thanks for the offer though." I can't believe he just offered to buy me a plane ticket to Nw York... to go to a party. this is just insane. "I know we've been through a lot.. but I just really miss you and I want to see you. Simple at that. I just to talk to you in person..." he says.

"Shawn..." And before I can even say what I want to, "Please. I'll send you the ticket and you don't even have to worry about anything" he says.

"Oh my god..." I shake my head even though he can't see me. "Shawn this is crazy. No." I don't want to see him.

Who am I kidding? I miss him so much. Even after he acted like a total dick to me. Deep inside I do want to go. But it will be so awkward and I don't even know anyone... Also, I'll probably be so embarrassed in front of all the people... I just can't do this.

"I know it's a bit crazy..... but come on I just really want to see you..." he says. "Ok... you know what? let's say I will come. What is going to happen? Am I actually going to be at a party full of celebrities? Where will I stay? Will I come alone? For how many days? Look.. this is just, too crazy and I think it's for the best that we broke up. I really believe that we should try to move on. Things were really rushed into between us and now we just need some time alone..." I say. Things changed.

"I disagree. You keep saying things were rushed into. What the hell does that even mean? We dated for a month and I only told my sister about us a week ago, I haven't even told my mom or dad. It's just-" He sighs.  "I really think that what was rushed into was the breakup. I know we had a little fight.. but we can talk that through" he says. "I acted like a dick. I know that. I am so sorry for what I did, For the way I acted. You didn't deserve that. This is the last opportunity we have to see each other for the next few months." I gulp. I don't know what to do now. I know I want Shawn. But I can't. I need a fresh start.

"Just say you'll think about it. And answering your question about where you'll stay. You can stay with me. If you feel comfortable... if not I'll order a room for you in the hotel I'm staying" He says. I'm speechless. He really wants to see me. And I want to see him too. But I just... don't know. Something inside me is stopping me.