I contemplate sleep as I lay here
What is it, really?
How do we shut down and yet still be alive?
It is like death
But our souls are still connected to the body
And yet they are pulled away to realms unknown
We visit these places
Where strange things happen
Sometimes we see what happens there from a distance; our souls still mostly in our bodies
Sometimes it is as if we are transported somewhere else, experiencing it as if we were there
And sometimes we do not remember what transpires
When we are pulled - from the murky, mysterious, unknown depths - awake
To have memories of things that never happened
What is true?
I grapple with sleep
I cannot tell if I welcome it or if I push it away
Do I want to defeat sleep?
Or do I want to be defeated?
Do I want it to overcome me
or do I want to force it to let me be
its ruler instead of being ruled by it
Sleep is ruthless
And exhaustion is its accomplice
I am truly drowning
In the weight
The fog consumes me
But I will not let it tonight
Sometimes I worry I will not come back from that place
But who am I to try to control what cannot be controlled
Without sleep
I will die
If only
I could live forever
Then sleep would be no hindrance
For I would have all the time
To sleep
And not sleep
And do what I enjoy
But I do not have time
No time
Hardly any at all
In the end
It is not sleep I grapple with
It is not sleep I fight and try to hold back
It is time
The thing that governs everything in such a way that to extract it from our lives would be to kill what we are
And yet
I keep on
I fight it
Because I do not want to be governed
It is power I want
To control
Control everything
Is that not
What we all wish
Somewhere
Deep
Within ourselves?
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Poems (collection 1.0)
Poetryplease don't read this (i laugh here, but i'm not joking). this is a relic. consider this the museum of my progression in writing. you can find the better (marginally) stuff from this one in "Poems (collection 2.0)". Thoughtful, often sad, and angr...
