Poems (collection 1.0)

Ode to Midnight

It's funny how I keep doing things
Over and over again
Despite the insanity of it
I just keep letting it happen

I am such a mess
It's very plain to see
I don't even have the energy to keep rhyming
But I know I have responsibilities that I have to attend to
But I say I'll do them tomorrow
Even though I know I won't
And there's this pounding in my head
That keeps up the rhythm
And I think it's my heart
But it might just be the voices
That are keeping me awake
And telling me to write things
Even though I really need to sleep
My eyes are drooping lower
And my head starts to hurt
But this rhythm makes my fingers go
Taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap
And my legs are all jittery
Even though I am in bed
And I'm so tired I could die
If I stayed awake instead
And for some awful reason
This is something that I do
Repeatedly
Even though I am aware
That I need to stop
I know that it's so bad
And I want to make it end
But it's this vicious cycle
That I fall into time and time again
It's so much easier to write a poem
Than that paper for my class
Even though these poems
Are worth less than nothing
And that paper is about a hundred points
And a letter grade
But for some reason
I continue this insanity
Even as I write about it
Oh the irony
I am a contradiction
From my head down to my feet
My soul and my soles
Can you tell the difference
If I read this allowed
Do you know which words I mean
When I say ewe turn
English is a funny thing
Because when I speak
You may hear one thing
Even though I mean another
And when I write
You may read one thing
Even though I mean an other
It's impossible to explain
The things I think about
Unless you could see and feel and hear
Them in your own self
But no one does
So I am completely alone
And I know I will look back at this later
This word barf of mine
And wonder what the hell I meant
Because it's twelve o'clock at night
And my head is so heavy
With thoughts and feelings and exhaustion
So I may as well be drugged
Or tripping on acid
Because this is a scary place to be
And I'm higher than you think
I'm afraid heights
Except not really
I'll let you figure that one out
On your own
Phone home
But I can't
Because there's no signal
My brain has malfunctioned
And the stars won't align
The way that I want
So I lay me down to sleep
And I curse the skies above
For sending me snow
When all I wanted was a bit of rain
Even though
It was just clouds today
I think I fell in love
With the sky
And its forever changingness
Because I'm bipolar too
And I like the unsteadiness
That I feel when I'm on a roller coaster
And I can almost touch the clouds
It's when I'm up so high
That I'm the least afraid of falling down
And I pray
because I don't believe in god
And I cuss
Because I want to be good
Like steam over a frozen lake
I am
I am
I'm not