I always feel like I'm being tested
But I never know what the test is
Once again I have been bested
At what, though, that is the question
I try harder and harder every time
But I always end up losing what's mine
So what's the point of trying anymore?
I don't even know what I'm trying for.
The rules of the game are unknown
The way to win I've never been shown
You sit atop your jagged throne
Looking down on me with scorn
How am I supposed to compete
With you and your crown of thorns?
This life is a war I am waging
But with every battle lost
I wonder why I must keep aging
I wonder if it is worth the cost
I'm always running out of time
I beg and plead for more
What must I do to be fine?
Why must this be a chore?
These questions weigh me down
Getting heavier with each day
If this keeps up I will drown
It's getting harder for me to stay
What stops me is what comes after
Because it is impossible to know
But time just keeps moving faster
Should I stay or should I go?
I just have to try to convince myself
Since I can't be swayed by anyone else
I have to believe my life is worth living
Despite how it can be so unforgiving
I have to remember all the things I love
The people I care for who care for me too
I have to believe that they are enough
I have to believe they can get me through
Because I made a promise I would stay here
Even when I am just living in fear
Even when the path is unclear
Even when hope is not anywhere near
I have to hold on tight to what is dear
Because I promised someone I would stay here
So even during the worst of my trials
When I am sure I would rather die
When I find I'm just living in denial
When I can't even find it in me to try
I can't let my mind get lost in the dark
I cannot let myself let go of hope
I have to remember there are good parts
I have to keep climbing up this rope
The test isn't over until I say it is
So I have to keep going until I complete it
This war is one that I want to win
So I have to strengthen the resolve within
I cannot say that I am done
Until my war is truly won
Losing early is not an option
And it hasn't been long since it's begun...
YOU ARE READING
Poems (collection 1.0)
Poetryplease don't read this (i laugh here, but i'm not joking). this is a relic. consider this the museum of my progression in writing. you can find the better (marginally) stuff from this one in "Poems (collection 2.0)". Thoughtful, often sad, and angr...
