"Remember back in Toronto"

Chapter 17

Kimberley:

I was originally meant to head to Toronto on the 24th to spend Christmas with my family but with the way everything was going I wanted to leave as soon as possible and ended up leaving the 23rd.

My father was the one that picked me up from the airport, he and I had a strained relationship for obvious reasons but in the past I was a Daddy's Girl.

"Safe flight?" he greeted me.

"Well, I'm here aren't I?" I put my suitcase in the trunk and hopped in the passenger seat.

"I heard about your little incident" he began driving.

"I would be surprised if you didn't"

"Are you proud of it"

"The real question is, are you proud of it father?"

"Your little cries for attention don't work on me like they do your mom"

"I'm not crying out for attention, I'm twenty three, not five"

"What happened to you? When I look at you I don't see my daughter, I see a hurt little girl"

"You happened to me, you took the only thing I was happy about away from me"

"You were seventeen, do you think you could've taken care of a baby? You couldn't even take care of yourself"

"You always flip this onto me, remember how you sent me away so that no one would find out"

"It was for your own good"

"I'm done with this conversation"

My father was a well respected lawyer in Toronto, he worked a lot with celebrities and ball players so if anyone found out at seventeen I was pregnant he would probably no longer be seen as this big shot.

"Kimmi, I just want my little girl"

"Whatever"

We both remained silent for the rest of the journey and when we arrived at the house everyone was still asleep (it was about 5:00am when I arrived) I went up to my old room and attempted to get some sleep but I couldn't.

It was crazy of me, but I ended up getting dressed and taking my fathers car to go and see my brother, not Nathan, my other brother Ethan.

I walked up to his gravestone and sat next I to it, Ethan had died when I was 16 which took a toll on me most because I looked up to him more than anything. His death lead to my downward spiral, he died in a car accident.

A couple weeks after he died I just couldn't take it anymore and I ended up drinking and hopping behind the wheel of my moms car attempting to kill myself, I luckily wasn't hurt but I was never the same after that.

Ethan was kind of seen as the 'black sheep' of our family because his aspirations and dreams weren't as practical as everyone else's. My father wanted him to be a doctor but he wanted to be an artist.

That night when I was in the accident I truly believed Ethan was the one that saved me.

My guardian angel, for my 18th birthday I had that tattooed on the inside of my wrist with his initials.

I sat next to the gravestone and placed white tulips next to it, then let a tear fall from my eye.

"I know you're probably not happy with who I'm becoming and the things that I'm doing, but I'm learning" I was beginning to well up.

"I remember the last thing you said to me 'don't give up Kim, this family is crazy' and you were right, I wish you were here so you could help me...the truth is I'm scared, I'm scared of losing everything again" I started cry.