Sketch

47 - Sam

Dedicated to SpecialAgentZee!  Thanks for all the votes :)  The song on the side is by Diana Vickers, the girl who I picked to play Emmy, and she sounds just like I imagine Emmy to.  The song relates to the chapter too.  Enjoy.

Instant regret.  That's the emotion that floods my body as I see Emmy crying.  Her nose is red, her bottom lip quivering, and she's clutching her hands in her lap like she's trying to stop them from shaking.

Her words pierce my skin like millions of tiny needles.  Everything's gone wrong.  It hadn't been until I'd said it all that I'd realised that it's all so ridiculous.  No way is Emmy like Michelle.  No way is she going to leave us hanging for the sake of herself.  She was the only one to offer a stranger change in a packed café.  She's definitely not Michelle.  She's so unlike Michelle that it's almost funny when I recount the words I've said.

I don't laugh as Emmy bolts up from her chair, though.  She's sobbing like I've just ripped her heart out and as my last words filter though my head again I realise I might as well have.  I shouldn't let my own insecurities ruin something great just because of something that one person did to me in the past.

I reach for her but she snatches her hand out of the way.  "Fuck you," she spits.

I recoil, remembering her words from earlier.  She only swears when she's angry or upset.  My guess is both as I fight with her to keep the door closed as she tries to tug it open.

"Move!" she demands.

I shake my head.  "Listen to me."

"Why would you make it all up?" She sounds like she's bordering on losing control and I step back, still keeping a hand on the door so she can't escape from me.

"I didn't," I reply.

"You pretended to hate me.  I just don't understand."

"I didn't want it to be like last time so I wanted to make you leave.  I thought it would be easy but the harder I tried to hate you, the more it backfired and the more I started to like you."

Her expression softens and she stops fighting with the door.  "I thought I'd finally found something I was good at.  That I'd found a career where people wanted me to be me."  She looks at me from under long tear coated lashes.  "I thought I'd finally found someone to."  She pauses, choking on a sob.  "Someone who likes me."

I open my mouth but the words won't come out.

"I was so proud to be a part of Sketch and prove my mum wrong.  Now I wish that I'd listened to her and taken the supermarket job instead.  At least people won't pretend to hate or like me there."  She sniffs, bringing a hand up to wipe away her tears.  "If you still like her it's fine."

I frown.  "What?"

"If that's what this is about I understand."  Her lip wobbles with her words and I feel my insides churning.

I screw my eyes shut, wishing I could take it all back.  "This was a mistake," I find myself muttering, irritation spiking my veins.

Emmy picks up on my words, her gaze lowering.  "If you think I'm a mistake then that's fine too.  I should have known this was all too good to be true.  Little Emmy Porter from nowhere getting asked to join a rock band in London."  She shakes her head and stray strands of hair stick to her wet cheeks.  "Now I know why people say that love hurts."

I want to correct her but I still can't, my vocal chords paralyzed by the sight of her.

"I feel so stupid right now."  She chokes on another sob, more tears leaking down her face.  I move to comfort her but she wrenches the door open before I can stop her.  "I hope you're happy."