Inanimate High; an Inanimate Insanity Fanfiction Human AU

Chapter Eleven: Hurting Inside and Out

(TRIGGER WARNING: Implicated self-harm. Please continue with caution.

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A sweet, caramel scent filled the bathroom as white clouds swirled around in all directions.

"Never thought I'd see you doing this," somebody said, walking through the doorway.

Kyle's head snapped up to see who had caught him. Upon seeing Benjamin, he sighed and took another puff of his vape. "At least I'm not snorting coke."

"You've looked worked up lately. You doing alright?"

"First of all, Travis gets suspended for the rest of the quarter. He's one of the only people who keeps me sane around here, and now I have to wait a whole fucking quarter to see him again. Second, my mom just had to look through my text messages and find out Travis and I are dating, so third, she takes all my electronics and privileges away, and now my grades are slipping and I'm stressed, so now I'm in a bathroom sucking on a vape." He took another puff.

"Heh, I know how you feel. Remember when Nicholas was suspended in middle school for graffiti?"

"Yeah, and?"

"I was devastated. Since he wasn't at school, I didn't have any motivation to want to try, and my grades plummeted."

"You still..?"

"Yeah..."

"You should tell him, Benjamin. It's going to be a burden if you don't."

"But..." He brought his voice down. "I think he has a crush on Susan."

"Really?"

"Yes, before last semester ended, and we saw Bastion and Susan together, he sounded really sincere when talking about her."

"Right, you told me about that. Look, if Susan's with Bastion now, you can tell Nicholas how you feel, and if he likes you, he won't turn you down now that Susan's with someone." He took one last puff of his vape before shoving it into his pocket. He walked towards Benjamin. "Just tell him. You've got this." He left the bathroom.

Susan POV (Hooray! First character POV!):

After school...

I frantically looked through the medicine cabinet, knocking over multiple different things. The whispers were getting louder. The darkness grew deeper.

"Susan?" Mom called. "Are you alright?"

"N-No...!"

"Come here!"

I shut the cabinet door and stumbled to the livingroom.

"What's the matter?" She asked.

"I-I can't find my p-pills..."

"Your anxiety meds?"

I quickly nodded my head.

"Okay, stay here. I think I know where your new bottle is. Just remember your breathing; Four seconds in, seven seconds holding it, and eight breathing out."

She left. I had finally seen a doctor about my awful hallucinations, so I had been prescribed some medication. I tried to calm myself down, but the whispers turned into inaudible screams. The blinds were open and the hallway light was on, but everything was dark. The tentacles constricted my ankles. I felt dizzy and lightheaded. My vision was fuzzy.

"Found it!" She called. She came back and handed me my pills. I rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a cup and filled it with water. I opened my bottle, nearly breaking the lid. I tried to grab one, and spilled multiple pills onto the counter. I grabbed two and popped them into my mouth, then chugged my water. After a few minutes, the darkness faded. The tentacles slithered away in fear of the light. I was breathing heavily. I quickly cleaned up the mess I had made one handed-ly, my other hand was tightly gripping the counter to keep my balance. I closed the bottle and brought it with me to my room.

I sat on my bed and let myself fall back, and my head plopped onto my pillow. I looked towards my nightstand, and my eyes laid on my pencil sharpener, but mainly its blade. I picked it up. I examined the blade. The screw was loose, and the blade was wiggly.

"Susan! I'm going out to run some errands! Are you going to be alright?"

"Yes!"

The front door shut with a slight slam. I looked back at the sharpener. I pressed my index finger and thumb onto the blade and wiggled it. I tugged on it a few times before the screw popped out, causing the shiny blade to fall onto my chest. I carefully grabbed it and sat up. I looked down at my wrist. I took a deep breath, and held the blade to my bony wrist. I held my breath.

No...What would Bastion think? He'll think he's not doing enough for you. And you're going to get blood on the sheets, mom would notice. Don't do it...

I placed the blade on my wrist.

The hell did I just say?!

I screamed and threw the blade across my room and it clinked on the floor. The plastic sharpener soon followed after, cracking from its impact on the wall. Tears streamed down my cheeks. I pulled out my phone from my pocket and Face-timed Bastion.

"Hey, Susie. What's--Susan, are you alright?!"

"No...I-I'm not..."

"What happened? Do you need me to come over?"

"If y-you can, that'd b-be nice.."

"Alright, I'll head over right now."

It didn't take long for Bastion to arrive. I opened the door for him and was immediately greeted by an embrace. "Okay, what happened?"

I took his hand and led him to my room. I pointed to the blade and broken sharpener on my floor. "That's what happened."

"Um, I don't understand."

"I was having another panic attack. After I took my medicine, and my mom left for some errands, I-I pulled out the blade and brought it t-to my wrist and-"

Bastion grabbed both of my hands and pulled up my sleeves, examining my wrists.

"A-And I snapped out of it and threw it across the room."

Bastion pulled my sleeves back down and held my hands, then kissed my forehead. "You're lucky you convinced yourself to stop. That would've hurt like hell."

"I know..." I began to cry hysterically. Bastion pulled me close and held me tight.

Word Count: 989