The Accident - Bad Boy's Girl

Chapter 41

Tests after tests after tests after tests, that was my life now, apart from the small breaks where I would sleep, or the odd visitor. Doesn't matter who the visitor was, they always exited with tears. At least they could exit this place, whereas I was stuck here, for the rest of my short life. I had lost hope of living through this months ago, I was in such a terrible state. If it was someone that didn't see me that regularly, for instance mum, because she was so busy looking after Isla, she would be shocked every time she came in here. Shocked by how little colour I had, yes, I was a pretty fair skinned colour before all this but now I was as white as a ghost, my lips had lost their colour, my eyes were losing their greenness by the day. No longer emerald, but a pale green. Oscar though, he hadn't given up on me, not even for a second. "Spence, please take it." In Oscar's palm was an engagement ring. Why was he making this so hard? I looked at the beautiful ring before closing his hand & looking back up at him. "Spence please." His eyes were constantly filled with sadness, I didn't like knowing what I was doing to people, making them sad. I hadn't seen Isla for at least a month now. Mum & Oscar keep telling me how sad she is, how she doesn't want to learn anything anymore, how she just sits in class, not paying attention to the teacher, ignoring them whenever she was asked a question. I had even heard that she's run out of school twice. "Oscar, I can't, you know I can't." The sad eyes turned to teary eyes. I couldn't bear to look at him. "Spencer you must, you need to." This stupid ring was crushing him, he had collapsed to his knees on the floor, I saw a tear trickle down from his left eye. "Go find another girl. & if you can't do that for me, do that for Isla. She needs a mother." I closed my eyes. "I can't do that, I need Spencer, not some replacement." After some time of silence, he spoke again. "Spence, may I kiss you?" This caught me off-guard. He had moved from the floor to my bed, my hands in his. "I-" I tried to laugh but it was painful. "Who are you & what have you done with Oscar?" He looked down at our hands & started rubbing his thumb on the back of my hand. "I don't think Oscar is ever coming back." I looked up at him with tired eyes. "I'm going to miss him." I had slowly been draining Oscar's hope of me surviving, lowering his expectations. "He'll miss you too, he'll miss you so fucking much." His eye bags were so dark, & he looked about as tired as me. He leaned in but only to kiss my forehead. "Yes Oscar, you may." He smiled & then moved down from my forehead to my pale lips.