Only Time

Ch. 8 ~ Sorrow

Returning back to Rivendell from Lorien on the heels of Haldir's revelations as well as my own, I had nothing left. I got off Sunset at the stables and disappeared into my wing and bedroom. I did not come out for days. When I finally did, I went alone to the waterfall where I first made the wish to the Elven Gods regarding my relationship with Legolas. Just as the sun hit the water, a leaf softly landed there and remembering my first little gift to him along with the letter, I could not take it anymore. I started to weep. My tears flowed out of my eyes like rivers mixing in with the water of Rivendell. My sorrow was so total and complete that I did not think or know how I could ever stop. I sat on the rock for what seemed like an eternity, just letting all of these feeling wash over me.

My heart was broken; into many jagged pieces. I had lost the only man I had ever loved to lord knows what and probably another elven woman. To make matters more complicated, the one person I considered to be like a brother to me, had feelings for me I could not reciprocate so therefore I had lost him too. I did not bother wiping away the tears as they fell in a steady waterfall onto my dress either. There was not anyone there to see me anyways. I would suffer alone in silence; only nature to keep me company. I would grieve and then I would move on. I could not even think that far ahead. Just the thought of never seeing Legolas again, never holding him, never having him kiss me or look at me with that piercing gaze again like I was a woman treasured; was enough to send me over the edge again and more tears to come flowing out.

What if I never stopped? What if these tears would flow forever? Would I become a statue; like so many we had around Rivendell? My aunt's haunting words came into my head just then. 'Your destiny is a path you must walk. It will lead you to your true soul mate. That does not however mean your path will be an easy one. It never is. Just be strong, be you, and you will find your way'. Easy was one thing. This was sorrow beyond my wildest dreams. But how could I find out what really happened? What if he was dead? That brought a new fear into my chest. Even if he chose Tauriel over me; as painful as that was, it would still mean that he was alive somewhere in our lands. I could learn to live with that.

Aunt Galadriel never said he was dead and I know she would have told me if that was the case. He could handle himself well with goblins but who knew what else was out there now. With this 'Necromancer' and what not. Another something I had to think about but I could not even wrap my mind around it all. It was just too much. I was one simple elf. My heart was not equipped to handle that much pain. I had realized that during my last weeping fit, I had slid from the rock to the ground and just lay their crying. The pain had become that overwhelming. As I started to think clearly, I knew I had to get up and go clean myself up. After all, I looked unkempt and a mess and that is just not how I ever presented myself.

I had no idea how long I had spent weeping by that waterfall. So I got myself up, brushed the leaves and brush off of my dress and dried my face with a kerchief I had with me always. I had decided to make my way back to my rooms and take a bath and make myself presentable in case someone was to see me. Especially, what if God forbid my uncle saw me. I could not let him see me like this or even Arwen or her brothers. Unfortunately for me, the first person I ran into on my way to my wing was indeed my uncle. His face was set in a worried frown and his eyes narrowed as they took in my appearance.

"Hedraliel." Uncle Elrond said my name.

"Please uncle, do not look upon me now. Let me go back to my quarters and make myself presentable before we are to speak." I turned my back to him as more tears squeezed themselves out of my eyes before I could stop them.

"Hedraliel, look at me." His voice was a command but a soft one.

I had to obey him and so I slowly turned towards him as my face was again awash with tears. When our eyes finally met, his softened. He slowly walked toward me and opened his arms toward me. I stepped into them as his strong embrace enveloped me in love. I tried so very hard to keep strong but I just could not and I felt myself let go and start to weep again. My heart just could not be strong anymore. If he had not held me up, I probably would have faltered and fallen to the ground but his strong arms held me steady just like they had all my life.