Scared

Weeks apart.

Chapter eighteen

I sat on the edge of the tower, Toby was currently napping inside and I was keeping watch for a bit. Looking through my scope I searched the woods. It had been several weeks since the governor was here and all these people had joined us.

Daryl, Sasha, Bob, Glenn and a few others where currently out on a run, I wanted to go but Toby had been teething lately and wanted me constantly. He was either napping or whining today. We finished the calpol and powder we had so today was a bad one.

"How's Toby?" I looked up at Carl and grinned as he perched next to me

"He's napping so he's good for now" I wrapped an arm around him and he laid his head on my shoulder. Looking down I saw kids playing. We had built up the gate again, making it better and safer so the kids could play. We had managed to get pigs, a horse and chickens. Rick was becoming a farmer at this rate and that was weird to be honest, no losses lately either.

We were doing well.. they were doing well.

"I miss you in the cell block" he frowned at me "even with Toby and Judy crying, I miss you both. Can you come back?"

"Maybe soon bud"

"But you know everyone now, they are nice people"

"It's a lot for me to handle, I still don't trust them. I promise give me a few more days and I'll start staying with you at least sometimes" with that Carl left going down the stairs fast. I sighed hearing the crying from Toby start again. Getting up I went inside and picked him up holding him to me "oh Toby, I'm sorry I can't help" I gave him a chewing toy "I wish I could help"

"Hey I saw Carl running away from here, you okay?" I turned to Beth

"Yeah he just wants me to warm to the others and I don't think I can yet, tried saying I'll start in a few days but he's upset" I shrugged knowing that it wouldn't be enough till I was back with him "could you do me a favour and look after Toby for a bit?" She happily took the tearful fella and I started getting ready. I picked up a gun tucking it in my jeans. Then I put my holsters on tucking knives around my body "I won't be long"

"Is this another undercover mission?" She questioned and I nodded. I'd be trying to find some things for Toby and Judy to help with teething but I had no success. "Be careful alright" I put water and a snack in my bag tossing it on my back. Tying my hair in a high ponytail I pulled on a cap turning to her

"I'm going here" I pointed to the shop on the map I had put on my window "this green line, that's the quick route I'll try to take. If I can't I'll go for the yellow and if not I'll go for the red"

"Like last time" she nodded looking at it "green, yellow red"

"And I'll leave clues for Daryl if things go south" I kissed Toby then Beth and left. I climbed the fence seeing Carl looking at me. I sent a smile and peace sign and he did it back then I was off. I rushed off into the woods.

It felt good being out here again. I easily stabbed at anything that got to close to me as I rushed through the woods, I needed to be fast or they would know I was gone. Carl had caught me once and I said I was doing what I had to do he didn't ask more. Beth was the only one who I ever told about this, she was like a daughter to me. I needed to stop taking in all the kids and calling them mine... I have a problem.

I followed the trail looking at the map to make sure I kept on the same track. I purposely dug my feet into the ground when there weren't trees close by and when there where trees close I left markings in the trees, nothin big, something only someone like Daryl would pick up on. I didn't sneak around the walkers, I killed most of them giving a clear signal to Daryl as to what way I went and how long ago. I knew the way he tracked so I knew what he would be looking for even though I left a map I knew Daryl wouldn't care he'd rather just track me.