As we sat around the camp fire on the log seats everyone seemed to be having a great time, Niall was playing his guitar with Harry singing along, Zayn was using his mirror but to make the fire stronger, Liam was behind me mentally debating with himself and me? I was watching how all the events were unfolding and thinking about how this was a great christmas. When everyone had finished they all came to sit with me except for Liam who still wasn't finished. We all had red glows on our cheeks from the fire as we decided to toast marshmellows all but me, Mine was caused by the touch of the boy i'd been dating for the past year and 4 months who had finally decided to come and join the group.
He motioned me to follow him and obviously curious about what was going on i did but i knew something was wrong when i tried to hold his hand and he nudged it away but i didn't push him incase he was upset, We kept walking until he suddenly came to a stop by the sea and turned to face me just as i was about to trip up but luckily he caught me and just stared into my eyes before talking or more like muttering to me.
"Lou, I can't do this anymore"
"What do you mean Li?" I asked confused but then i saw the stray tear fall down his face and i knew where this was heading.
"WE can't do this anymore Louis, I'm sorry" He said looking at the ground but i didn't care the tears were now flying down my face as i ran back along the beach and past the other boys who were looking at me confused but seemed to understand when they saw Liam running after me but i didn't stop and left the beach before anyone could say anything and this christmas was now the worst one i'd ever had.
After a few days i decided me being depressed wasn't helping anybody especially me so i tried to be happy again, Being happy in interviews, Going clubbing again, Helping out around the house more and mostly being the witty boy all the others knew me as and something told me i could get over him and be happy again, I knew i could i just had to try and after a few months i did it and became happy for real again.
Well that was until on this day exactly a year after it happened 24th December sat in exactly the same places doing the exact same thing and the painful memory i'd tried so hard to forget came back to the front of my mind and placed itself on replay until the point where i just wanted to break down and cry but i knew i couldn't do that, Not here, Not now, Not ever. I tried to mask my pain with a fake smile and luckily everyone bought it except for Liam.. God damn him! He gave me a questioning look but i rolled my eyes and took another sip of my beer whilst walking over to Zayn and Harry who were kicking a football around in the sand.
When they saw me approaching the game instantly stopped and they made their way over to me and engulfed me into a group hug which meant they knew why i'd come over here and i saw them turn around to see Liam and Danielle snuggling together by the fire which made it clear to me he'd moved on and i needed to do the same.
I didn't realise that i'd been so lost in my thoughts until i saw two pairs of hands waving infront of my face bringing me back to reality causing me to blush and apologise.
"Guys i'm gunna go" I said looking at the floor but out of the corner of my eye i saw them nod their head in acknowledgement before taking me into seperate hugs Harry followed by Zayn who whispered in my ear
"I'm sorry Lou" This time it was my turn to nod as he reluctantly let me go as i turned my back on them and started to walk futher ashore to where my TOMS, Jacket and keys laid on the ground, Niall gave me a questioning look but i signalled to him to ask Zayn and Harry which thankfully he understood and walked over to them as they explained i saw he nodding along which meant he understood and i i was okay to leave so picking everything up i walked back along the sand until after a short walk it became cement and i was back in the car park.
