Remember Me (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter Twenty-Five: Part Of You

"Elizabeth?"

I ignored the voice behind me and continued to rock Judith, trying to calm her down. She had been fussing non stop. I didn't know why. I had fed her already this morning. It seemed like there was something else she wanted. Probably her mother. Something I wasn't able to give her. Something I would never be able to give this little girl.

"Elizabeth, please talk to me."

Judith continued fussing, trying to escape my grasp. I grabbed a pair of keys on the counter, trying to occupy her. She took the keys gratefully and shook them, pleased with the noise. I smiled at her and planted a small kiss on her forehead. I guess she just wanted something to play with. The poor baby was probably miserable.

"Elizabeth, snap out of it."

I giggled at her shaking the keys. "Do you like that?" I asked, smiling down at her. She let out the start of a giggle, swinging them around. Maggie and Glenn needed to hurry back. We were nearly out of the little formula we did have. I had enough to feed her for the rest of the day, that was about it. I walked away from the area, heading towards the main room. I was going to lay her down for a nap if she would take one. The keys wouldn't keep her occupied forever.

"Elizabeth, just look at me."

I walked to her box and slowly lowered her in there. She looked up at me, her mouth forming a tiny smile. I slowly planted a kiss on her forehead before approaching the exit to the prison. I needed some sunlight. Beth was in here if she needed anything anyways. Beth had been helping me take care of her.

"Now where are you going?"

I continued ignoring the voice, opening the doors. The sun greeted my skin with extreme warmth. I grinned as I shut the door, only for it to be opened again. I knew that the voice would follow me outside, but I would continue to ignore it. The voice was only going to ruin my good mood. I continued walking out the doors, examining the prison. The walkers are still here. You'll have to remind Rick to clear it out.

"Damn it, Elizabeth. Look at me!" I was spun around by my arm in a harsh way. Once I was jerked around, I came back into reality. Daryl was standing there, pissed off at me. I understood why. After Lori, I shut down. It was easier that way.

"What?" I snapped, getting in his face.

"You need to get grip," he replied, getting right back in my face. I needed to get a grip? It seemed like he was the one who needed to get a grip. He was getting all worked up over nothing. I was fine. I was okay.

"No, you need to get a grip and leave me alone. Can't you see I don't want to talk to you?" I replied, now raising my voice. I could tell that he was getting ever more angry. I didn't care though. I wanted to be left alone.

"You ain't that baby's mom," Daryl growled through clenched teeth.

Yeah, I knew that. He didn't have to point it out. Now he was just being a dick. "Yeah, her mother is dead. You remember that? Her mother is dead and I had to watch it happen," I whimpered at him. I could feel reality consuming me, bringing me out of my fantasy world. I didn't want to leave my perfect world. I didn't want to face reality. "You didn't see what I saw, Daryl. You didn't hold her hand as the life faded from her. You didn't have to take her child and leave her there. You didn't go through the shit I went through, so don't you dare tell me I need to get a grip."

I now had tears in my eyes. Recalling the event was breaking my heart. It was destroying me all over again. Why couldn't he just let me forget? Why couldn't he just leave me alone. When he didn't reply, I continued. "I couldn't save her. There was nothing I could go," I began, taking in a breath. "And Shane? I wished death upon Shane so many times, and then I saw him laying there. You don't know how much I wanted to take all of those wishes back. You don't know death, Daryl," I continued, now crying. "You don't know death until you've seen it. Until you've really seen it. And I saw it. It lives under your skin. It stays with you. It becomes a part of you."

Due to my mental breakdown, Daryl quickly pulled me into his arms. I wanted to protest, but I missed him. I missed him too much. When I shut down, he tried constantly to pull me out. But I ignored him. I ignored him as much as possible. I didn't want to face reality.

But sometimes you have to face reality to accept what's happened.

I apologize in advance for the short chapter!
This chapter was pretty much just a filler. It was just to show you how Lori's death messed with Liz, it wasn't a main chapter really.