Remember Me (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter Eighty-One: Starting Over

"Can't win," Abraham growled as he punched the RV.
He was right. We couldn't win. Or I couldn't win. On our way to Alexandria, we broke down. I was kind of thankful that we did. I took it as a hint that we didn't need to go there. Daryl still seemed to ignore what I said the night before. He hadn't brought it up the entire way there. I knew I should've left with Judith that night.
I could've kept her safe if I did. But I just couldn't do it. I couldn't take her away from her father and I couldn't leave Daryl and Maggie behind. I didn't have it in me.
"Might as well paint it red, put a ladder on it," Abraham said with frustration. I knew he was referring to their firetruck. That thing was a pretty big piece of shit.
"All we need is another battery," Glenn replied.

"Where in the hell are we gonna find another battery?" Abraham asked. It would take us ages to find another one. We were still far from Alexandria and there were no buildings near us. We were stranded if we couldn't find out magically in the woods somewhere.
"Right over here," Glenn replied, patting Abraham on the back. Abraham and I trailed behind Glenn. Glenn walked over to the entrance to the RV and pulled open a small drawer. Inside contained a battery. I was happy and worried at the same time. Now we could make it to Alexandria. That was a good and a bad thing.
"How'd you know those were there?" Abraham asked.

Glenn didn't answer. But I knew how he knew. Dale taught him everything about his RV. Glenn could fix one with his eyes closed. I felt deep sorrow at the thought of Dale. I still remembered him every single day. He was just another person that I couldn't save. Glenn walked over to the front of the RV with enthusiasm. I knew he was going to fix it. I also knew we were going to end up in Alexandria.

I looked up to see Daryl standing on the RV. He shielded the sun from his eyes for a moment before looking down at me. He knew how angry and worried I was. I was pretty pissed off that he wouldn't listen to me. But I was even more worried. There was nothing I could do about this. If I warned them, they would question what I knew. They weren't going to believe me no matter what I said. So I just gave up.

The engine roared and everybody began cheering. Daryl continued staring down at me before I broke eye contact, shaking my head. I couldn't make him listen, so I was just going to stop. I walked inside of the RV and plopped down in one of the seats. Rosita wasn't far behind me. She sat down next to me with a smile as the rest of the people poured inside. They were all so happy and excited. Everybody was except me. Rosita could sense that.
"Why do I get the feeling that you don't wanna go?" She asked, looking over at me.
"Because I don't," I answered honestly. I couldn't tell her too much. She would also try to pry in my business. Much worse than Daryl did. Rosita sighed as the RV began moving. "You're scared. You've been out here for so long and you're scared to be happy."

"I'm not," I replied to her. "This is all just too good to be true. Just like Terminus. Everything has a price. We should know that by now."

"And what if it doesn't?" She asked me. Eugene was eavesdropping, but I tried to ignore him. He was just a curious person. "What if we get there and it's safe? What if it's a place we can live?"

"And what if we get there with guns in our faces?" I fired back. I didn't think Alexandria was a bad place. I just knew something bad was going to happen to it. Negan would find us. Negan would kill us. He named this place for a reason.
"Then we do what we always do," Rosita replied calmly. "We fight and we survive. That's what we always do and that's what we will continue to do." When I didn't reply, she continued what she was saying. "Can I tell you something, Elizabeth?"

"I suppose," I answered dismissively. I thought she was going to tell me some bullshit, but I was wrong. She was doing what she did best...understanding.

"I'm scared, too. I was scared when I joined you all. I didn't know what kind of people you were. It's the same situation as right now," Rosita said as she looked at me. "But you're one of the most important people in my life. I love you. The same thing could happen here."
I smiled at her words. Rosita was always kind to me. She had some severe attitude, but not towards me. She saw everything I had been through and she understood. I wanted to frown as we pulled up to Alexandria's gates, but I didn't. I was going to have to be strong for everyone else. "Thank you," I said with a smile. Everybody began climbing out of the RV and I took a deep breath. Was I ready for this?

"Ready?" Rosita asked, locking her hand with mine. I wasn't ready, but I had to get this over with. Negan could've been waiting behind the gates for all I knew, but I had to see.
"Ready," I replied. Rosita pulled me up and we left the RV, hands still together. Abraham seemed irritated with this, but I ignored him. He acted like I just stole the only woman he ever loved.

I stayed with Rosita the entire walk to the gates. Daryl didn't even glance our way as we stopped. I knew he was still thinking I was crazy. I probably was. But I knew one thing.
Negan had more people and more weapons. He had more everything than we did. I guess this was a risk that I just had to take.
I clutched Rosita's hand harder.

The gates opened.