Remember Me (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter Seventy-Four: Needed Me

I trudged through the dense forest with nobody by my side.
I didn't know where I was going. I didn't even know where I was or how to get back to the others if I wanted to. I just didn't have a plan at all.
I was lucky that Daryl and Carol hadn't seen me when I escaped. They would've followed me anywhere if they had. I hadn't been gone very long and I hadn't gone very far. The heat was too much for that. Not to mention that I hadn't seen water anywhere. I was way past dehydration at that point.

I wiped a bit of sweat from my forehead and continued my journey. I figured I would find a road eventually. I would find somewhere eventually.
I could feel my body getting ready to shut down on me. I had survived so many things. I had been shot, beaten, bitten. Yet I was going to die from lack of water. I had already died twice. I wasn't afraid of it anymore.

I could see a small building in the distance, but I didn't know if I could make it. I was far too tired to run all the way there. I allowed my eyes to flutter shut as I plopped down on a rock. I just needed a little break before I went any further.
I stretched my aching legs out and sighed. Everything was sore. Even my mind was sore.

I slowly opened my eyes to see a pair of boots standing in front of me. I stopped breathing completely when I realized who they belonged to. My entire world shifted as I looked up to see Beth's face staring down at me. The bullet hole in her head was still fresh, dripping with blood.
I gasped loudly as I stared up at her. I wanted to grab her and hug her. I wanted to tell her how scared I was and what happened to me. I wanted to tell her everything I couldn't tell anybody else.

We stared at each other for a few moments before she lifted her arm. I thought she would hug me or something, but she pointed in the distance instead. I paused for a second before I looked in the direction she pointed.

I quickly ducked down when I saw Daryl sitting against a tree, smoking. Has he been here the entire time? Has he seen me?

"I can't g-" I turned back to face Beth, but she was gone. She had vanished like everybody else. I began to question if I was losing my mind. Maybe I was just hallucinating from the lack of water. I slowly looked back to where Daryl sat. Beth obviously wanted me to go to him or see what he was doing. I would've never noticed him if it wasn't for my dead sister.

I slowly stood up from my rock and hid behind one of the trees near me. I slowly peeped from behind it to see Daryl pressing his cigarette into his skin. I felt guilt flow through me as I watched him do this. He was in more pain than I had ever imagined. He didn't just lose Beth, he also lost me. I knew that he cared for her just as much as I did. But I thought I was the only one who lost her. Maggie, Rick, Daryl. They all lost something that day too.

But that didn't erase what happened to me. I wouldn't be able to let go of everything that occurred on my way to the hospital. Nobody knew about it but me. I couldn't tell anybody. Those were things that I would bottle up and keep inside forever.

I continued watching Daryl. He slowly dropped his cigarette to the ground and dropped his head. I could hear his sobs from where I stood. I couldn't stand it. I couldn't stand any of it anymore. I was hurting him without even meaning to.

I quickly emerged from behind the tree into his sights. I stared over at him crying for a few moments before I reacted.

"Daryl?"

Daryl's head quickly moved up as he heard my voice. I tried to hold back tears as we stared at each other. I didn't know what to say to him. I had hurt him so badly and there was no way I could ever fix that. There was no way either of us could fix anything.
He didn't react in anyway when he saw me. He just stared at me with tears pouring down his face.

I decided to be the one to react. I ran as fast as I could to where he sat. I expected him to get up, but he didn't. I allowed myself to fall into his lap. Once I felt his arms around me, I broke down in tears.
I guess Carol was right. We would both let ourselves feel it. I buried my face into his chest and continued my frantic crying. I felt him sobbing as well.
"I can't take it," I managed out through my whimpers. "I can't take it anymore."

Daryl shushed me as he pulled me closer to him. I wanted to tell him everything, but I knew I couldn't. He would hunt those people down to the ends of the earth. He would never let go of what happened. Neither would I. I trusted people too easily. That's why all of those terrible things happened to me. I swore to myself they would never happen again.

"I love you," I whispered in his shoulder. "I love you so much."
Daryl didn't say it back. I didn't expect him too. I already knew he felt the same. We sat there for what seemed like an eternity. We just sat there holding each other. I never knew how much I longed for his touch until that moment. I never knew how much I really needed Daryl.
I made a promise to myself then that I would never push him away again.
And I never did.