Remember Me (Daryl Dixon)

Chapter Forty-Six: Carol

I cocked my head at her as she spoke a name I had never heard before. "You have the wrong person, I'm sorry."
She lifted an eyebrow at me as she realized how crazy I actually was. She slipped the knife she was holding back into her pocket as she looked back up at me. "It's me. It's Carol."

I honestly didn't know a Carol. I had never seen this woman before and I wasn't really sure what she was talking about. She looked at me as if I was confused, but she was obviously the confused one in this situation. I offered her a small smile as I tried to turn away, "I'm Lori. I don't know who Elizabeth is, but I hope you find her."

Carol's eyes widened as the words left my lips. Something about my words made her utterly shocked. I felt bad for her, but I didn't want to linger in this conversation. I had to find supplies for Lily and I or we wouldn't be able to make it much longer. Lily seemed to be losing her mind. I wasn't sure if I could find her something for that, but I would certainly try.

As I spun around, my eyes widened too. I could see some small buildings in the distance. There were silos, trucks, and an abandoned shack.

Something about this place made my stomach turn. I swallowed the impending tears in my throat and slowly began walking towards the opening in the forest. I could hear Carol walking behind me, but I didn't mind it. I would need someone with me for what was going to happen next. As I walked out of the forest, my stomach dropped down to my feet.

Something about this place was all too familiar. I had been here before. I knew I had been here before. I felt tears well in my eyes as Carol walked in front of me to see my expression. I kept my eyes level with the shack for a few moments before looking at Carol.

"Something happened here," I said as I let out a shaky breath. "Someone was hurt here."

Nobody was hurt here. That never happened.

"No," I continued as I shook my head. "That never happened."

"Yes it did, Elizabeth," Carol replied with pity in her voice. Her eyes watched me with complete sorrow in them. I could tell that she was feeling very sorry for me in that moment.

"It never happened," I yelled as I began crying. I covered my ears with my hands as she continued to talk.

"It happened," Carol whispered to me. "You can't erase your own memories, Elizabeth."
"I'm not Elizabeth," I shouted at her as I backed away. I couldn't look back at the abandoned shack. If I looked back at it, I would remember what I never wanted to remember. I wanted to keep those memories buried away forever.

"You are Elizabeth," Carol continued. "Merle died here. You watched Merle die here."
Merle never existed. You never knew a Merle.

I continued shaking my head and crying as I kept my eyes closed tightly. "No, he isn't real."

"You aren't Lori," Carol spoke to me in a louder voice. "You watched Lori die too. Your name is Elizabeth and you are so much stronger than this."

"Shut up," I screamed at her, not taking my hands away from my ears. "It never happened. None of it ever happened. It never happened."

All at once, Carol's hand came down hard across my face. I grabbed my cheek quickly as pain shot through it. It was as if she completely slapped me back into reality.

"Your dad is gone," Carol growled at me as she realized whatever she was doing was working. "He's dead and you can't take it. You can't shut down like this."

I glared at her through my hair for a moment before I took off into the forest. I could hear her shouting my name as I disappeared into the trees. I could hardly control my breathing as I continued pacing back to the house.

You have to find Daryl

"No," I shouted as my tears threatened to blind me.

As soon as I found the house, I slammed the door behind me and tried to control the sobs escaping my body. All of the memories came flooding back to me at once. Merle, Shane, Lori, Dad. They all came back to me and I was back where I started. The pain in my chest that I felt when I saw my father die came rushing back to me. I felt as if I was drowning but everyone else around me was breathing.

I dug my nails into the wood as Daryl's face began flashing in the back of my mind. Everyone was dead. I knew I was probably the only one who made it. Every person I ever knew was dead and I was living. Maggie was dead, Daryl was dead, Rick was dead. I would never see any of them again.

I let out a breath as I spun around to see if Lily was anywhere.

I was greeted by her lifeless body lying on the floor accompanied by blood splattered on the wall. The gun in her hand told me that she had taken her own life. Lily killed herself and I was too crazy to be there to stop her. She should've killed me instead.

I held in a sob as I sank down to the floor, supporting my body on the door.
I gazed at her lifeless eyes staring in my direction. I wished I could've told her who I really was. I wished I could've told her everything in that moment.

I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I tried to hold back all of the sobs threatening to escape.

"My name is Elizabeth."